tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post3507010362626769516..comments2024-03-05T23:31:44.106-08:00Comments on Gay Family Values: For Turks and TravelersGFVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02950236433262366445noreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-51886272168669706742012-06-26T18:33:42.267-07:002012-06-26T18:33:42.267-07:00Steeldrago,
Yes, go ahead and e-mail it. Talks w...Steeldrago,<br /><br />Yes, go ahead and e-mail it. Talks with Tallat are still underway and at least some progress is being made though I think it’s better not to post specifically what I know. I do wish there was a way to e-mail you directly and just tell you what’s going on. Since any continuing talks may be of a sensitive nature, anything I tell you “off-post” needs to be kept to yourself and not posted here either by you or me.<br /><br />Steel, I have an idea…. Since you have a blogspot profile, why don’t you temporarily create a link to your own e-mail and, once I retrieve it and get it in my Address Book, I’ll immediately post here that I have it so you can take that link down again, if that’s your wish. In direct e-mails you might get from me, Dave is my real first name, though it’ll arrive saying “David”, and those e-mails also will display my last name, and that begins with the letter “F” and ends with “zen.” My e-mail address itself will have the word “bear” within it. With those clues, you should have no trouble identifying me in your home Inbox.<br /><br />I’d really like to be more forthcoming with you than I think is wise to do here. And, since we’re friends now, isn’t it kinda silly we don’t have a direct means of communicating apart from here anyway?Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-1832558708830185462012-06-26T15:24:09.519-07:002012-06-26T15:24:09.519-07:00for me personally
while i enjoy responses from ...for me personally<br /> while i enjoy responses from them and there was a very brief period where i lived for them, i got over it. im not currently aware of anymore i can do for tallat but if you think they need the links emailed i will.steeldragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13726804816418609288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-37110684266100542812012-06-25T19:43:01.379-07:002012-06-25T19:43:01.379-07:00Jay and Bryan are probably constantly buried with ...Jay and Bryan are probably constantly buried with "you're an inspiration to me" type messages, so you really need to send Tallat-related stuff high priority for it to cut through. I've been doing that and I hear back from them just fine within a reasonable period. For example, I've heard back from Jay twice today alone.Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-63452030253754431352012-06-25T15:29:56.998-07:002012-06-25T15:29:56.998-07:00i dont think its a failure of delivery, i think th...i dont think its a failure of delivery, i think they just get lost in the mix. i may need to be more aggressive in my subject lines, you know something more along the lines of read me now and your cock will make the hulk wither or something. <br /><br />i spent almost two months emailing people for the r2l screening while trying to meet the people in person and all of those emails just got lost in the mix, then when i finally did meet the people within 2 meetings i basically had everything set up but for a few obstacles that popped up, hence no r2l screening yet and people have not emailed back about the one that was sposed to be this month. which is the source of my email frustration.steeldragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13726804816418609288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-24009438434296493562012-06-24T21:20:18.063-07:002012-06-24T21:20:18.063-07:00Your e-mails don't go through? Mine do just f...Your e-mails don't go through? Mine do just fine, but I use Outlook for trhat rather than clicking an e-mail link here, typing in fields and then clicking "submit."Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-47244798449174046472012-06-24T17:42:10.212-07:002012-06-24T17:42:10.212-07:00Steeldrago,
I also spoke to Paypal on their custo...Steeldrago,<br /><br />I also spoke to Paypal on their customer service line to see if we could use them as a donation hub (if Tallat ever gives us the go-ahead). I e-mailed Jay as to my findings.<br /><br />I told the woman who helped me, whatever resource we use, it must be one where we control the money and where it ultimately goes. If the organization just gives to cancer patients in general and we can't funnel our money specifically to Tallat and no one else, at least I say that option is unacceptable. <br /><br />Not knowing how religiously Jay and Bryan read ALL comments posted here, you might e-mail them at home to notify them you posted all these cancer links.Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-52030608608565664442012-06-24T16:39:36.548-07:002012-06-24T16:39:36.548-07:00hey tallat, bryan and jay here are a bunch of link...hey tallat, bryan and jay here are a bunch of links you may find useful.<br />so again my emailing has apparently failed but google did not.<br /><br />http://www.cancerindex.org/clink44k.htm<br /> <br />this is dated but its a start.<br />http://www.icisg.org/ecc_576.pdf<br /><br />http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/cancer/Pages/Socialcare.aspx<br /><br />http://www.royalmarsden.nhs.uk/pages/home.aspx<br /><br />im not sure how helpful this one is going to be<br />http://www.londonhp.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Cancer-services-model-of-care-summary.pdf<br /><br />http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/171/<br /><br />http://www.lhsc.on.ca/About_Us/LRCP/<br /><br />this one appears very detailed<br />http://cancerhelp.cancerresearchuk.org/coping-with-cancer/general-books-and-links/general-cancer-organisations<br /><br />http://cancerhelp.cancerresearchuk.org/<br /><br />this group is mentioned repeatedly here is their home page.<br />http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspxsteeldragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13726804816418609288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-1769942288217680532012-06-23T22:10:37.922-07:002012-06-23T22:10:37.922-07:00Just to be sure I was clear, they all believe I...Just to be sure I was clear, they all believe I'm straight at this point. The things you indicated you might say, although not explicitly saying "I'm gay," pretty clearly indicate you are because it's very unlikely anyone other than a gay person would refer to "hateful bigots" or "haters."<br /><br />During discussions here of what haters are up to, I'm sure you've seen me on many occasions direct some pretty brutal sarcasm toward them. When we're talking about them here, I will admit I have quite a mouth on me. But I'm different in person at least in that way in that I don't tend to be confrontational with people, when their gay epithets were "merely" referring to others in the context of a story they were telling. I may well let that go and instead use that time to observe them and listen carefully to their relative level of bigotry so I know better how to deal with them in the future. Now if they are specifically directing gay epithets toward another person to his face or directing them at me, that's a different matter and I will NOT let that go. I will respond in kind, but much much worse with my favorite heterosexual epithets: "theocratic freak," "shiite republican," "toothless redneck trailer trash,"the abortion that should have been" etc, etc.<br /><br />Also, if they started discussing their support for marriage discrimination, I think I would speak up then too. Now, given how small a workplace we have there, I don't think I'd particularly want to come out to them to defend marriage equality. I think what I'd do instead is say I have a cousin who's gay, who I'll say is partnered and who had me watch a video on gay biology. THAT will be my pretext to educate them on how overwhelming majorities of gay people aren't choosing their orientations and how gayness is caused by the brain not getting enough testosterone in the womb. I can then say I met my cousin's partner, that they've been together for 17 years, they're super happy together and desparately want to get married and that I hope they'll be able to someday.Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-37528347715002743062012-06-23T17:03:59.271-07:002012-06-23T17:03:59.271-07:00well, depending on how the day and if i was angry,...well, depending on how the day and if i was angry, in a moment where 'fag' was said directly in my hearing i may possibly go off about hateful bigots grumbling or i may say something like 'hater says what?' <br />im not really sure and im all out of nice. i may be able to pull off the condescending and say something like, 'really? that's good to know..'steeldragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13726804816418609288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-59834296259822784062012-06-22T22:47:39.965-07:002012-06-22T22:47:39.965-07:00I have another interesting non-coming out story—th...I have another interesting non-coming out story—this time from work. Kind of a “what would you do” sort of game. I switched car dealerships to a much smaller one with 5 or 6 salespeople including myself. I just finished my third day there. Someone brought in tacos for everyone over the lunch hour. I had one myself and afterwards was in a room adjoining the larger one where we normally are when we aren’t with a customer. One asked me from the larger room how I liked my taco. I said it was good and the hotter it was the better. The other guy replied, “you like your tacos as hot as possible just like your women?” Being so new and not wanting to make wave right away, I replied, “That’s right.” Shortly later, I overheard them talking about a couple of gay men who got beat up outside a downtown gay bar. And I heard my boss, who’s younger than me, joking back and I heard him use the word “fags.” I then thought to myself, “Oh, brother. I’m around THOSE kind of people.” My new place of work is within the Omaha city limits, so it is covered under our new anti-gay workplace discrimination ordinance. But my workplace is quite small and the apparent homophobes I find myself with now are people I can’t avoid being around.<br /><br />You’ve heard me many times comment on how well equipped I now am gay education-wise if I choose to come out to someone. (I.e., no one is dumb enough to actually choose this, the anecdotal evidence of 93% of gay men in a study report little or no choice in their orientation and, finally, how “gay biology” works.) Question: If you found yourself in these same circumstances with what could be a very unreceptive audience AT WORK, would you just keep your mouth shut on that issue or would you make plans to come out to them in order to attempt an “attitude readjustment” on them? Something along the line of, “I can tell you’ve had quite an attitude problem on this issue for some time, but that’s been based on misinformation you’ve been walking around all your life and which has been fed by hate coach pulpiteers and theocratic freaks running for President every four years. Well, now you have the REAL facts so, if you STILL persist in blaming gays for being what you’ve now learned they were born as and did NOT choose, all that does is make you look like a fucking moron. Now you don’t want to be perceived that way, do you?”<br /><br />What would you do?Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-62172270520351009852012-06-22T19:31:38.846-07:002012-06-22T19:31:38.846-07:00If Jay and Bryan ever get Tallat to change his min...If Jay and Bryan ever get Tallat to change his mind, I would think a fundraising video would be the single most effective means of focusing Depfox subscribers’ attentions and raising the most money. I can’t know, of course, but I would think the traffic here is much smaller than what the Depfox channel receives. Not in any particular order, but some of the more persuasive points to make in such a video might be these:<br /><br />1. Explain clearly what Tallat has coverage for (i.e., the surgery), what he DOESN’T have coverage for (i.e., post-surgery care) and the consequences for Tallat if he DOESN’T somehow come up with funding to cover the latter.<br /><br />2. What Tallat is like, and how Tallat has touched Jay or affected him.<br /><br />3. Explain the relative severity of his illness.<br /><br />4. How Tallat is special and how the world is a better place having him in it.<br /><br />5. We are a big family, we look after each other and, when one of us is in trouble, we step up to help.<br /><br />6. If you were in a similar jam as Tallat, wouldn’t you want the love and support of your family and friends to get you through your own crisis?<br /><br />7. How truly insignificant $10 per person is for the vast majority of us (i.e., it buys a large fast food meal)<br /><br />8. If Tallat’s story has touched you, YOU need to step up yourself. This is no time to be apathetic and just rely on someone else to help out. ALL of our participation is essential because we’re going for big composite numbers.<br /><br /><br />Also, whatever funding mechanism is used, I would think our having control over the money would be critical. We probably shouldn’t use an organization who will just give to financially challenged cancer patients in general; it has to be an organization or conduit where ALL of the money we raise for Tallat goes to him and no one else.Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-89166578571604660182012-06-22T17:24:18.226-07:002012-06-22T17:24:18.226-07:00sometimes i can be aggressive about certain things...sometimes i can be aggressive about certain things. as a multi-point example; i had a friend who called me bro, we bbqed and rolled dice/made stuff up regularly, literally almost every week, for many years. in this time his water heater failed and i found out about a week, or so, into a multi-week period that they had no hot water except what was boiled on the stove. ive been there done that, it is perfectly serviceable. however, this person was ten minutes from my house and may as well have been a next door neighbor in that regard. i have and still do occasionally help complete strangers in kind of random ways, i will do no less and far more for those i consider family. i, absolutely, bit my friends head off. it was complete hubris for 'my bro' to go that long without saying something to me. let alone not asking about doing needed laundry. i get it, like i said i have been there, i have done my laundry by hand. having been the poor kid (seriously not knowing if we were gonna have food let alone a roof), you get through those starving times not by holing up and being silent for your pride because you dont want to appear to be what you are-dead broke, you get through them with the family you have and the family you make, period. unfortunately, sometimes the family we have fail us and themselves and refuse to be there, which is why it is up to those of us willing to step up to act as much as possible in that capacity. this is my perspective and my belief, and this is why i am willing to help you as much as i am able tallat and as much as you allow.steeldragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13726804816418609288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-72593899406982900172012-06-22T16:51:44.342-07:002012-06-22T16:51:44.342-07:00information is always good even if it is informati...information is always good even if it is information already known. i was never going to just jump off and do, i am usually really good about impulse control. hence my previous 'whoa, hold on' comment. i have already sent an email to some people regarding organizations and i will get that info up as soon as possible.steeldragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13726804816418609288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-4982889312343307502012-06-22T16:43:27.904-07:002012-06-22T16:43:27.904-07:00i feel i have lots to make up for. the nature of c...i feel i have lots to make up for. the nature of certain things and the state of despair i was in could have turned far worse. i got what i wanted and it could have been really really horrible. <br />usually i dont engage and im learning to ignore the ones i have not previously but im also not going to ignore the impulse i had on this one, it may do no good for the target i believe its intended for but it may do others good.steeldragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13726804816418609288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-90033103016577918702012-06-22T15:58:05.251-07:002012-06-22T15:58:05.251-07:00Oh, I'd gladly donate 10 bucks for Tallat if y...Oh, I'd gladly donate 10 bucks for Tallat if you guys (Dave& others)make it work.Artjommmhttp://www.youtube.com/user/Artjommm?feature=mheenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-26550452396942396152012-06-22T15:47:52.650-07:002012-06-22T15:47:52.650-07:00Jay is so right. Less fear = more love. Amen.Jay is so right. Less fear = more love. Amen.Artjommmhttp://www.youtube.com/user/Artjommm?feature=mheenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-29205534451264197032012-06-22T15:26:48.430-07:002012-06-22T15:26:48.430-07:00Bryan, you are one of the most AWAKENED people I&#...Bryan, you are one of the most AWAKENED people I've ever met ..., well, online. The things you four do change me and many-many others. THANK YOU! It is a relief to know that Jay is back home and safe. I pray so is Tallat.Artjommmhttp://www.youtube.com/user/Artjommm?feature=mheenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-2170226147530780942012-06-21T23:32:03.626-07:002012-06-21T23:32:03.626-07:00How weird.... I found my comment immediately gone...How weird.... I found my comment immediately gone and I tried to paste it back in from Outlook and it didn't seem to take for a couple of times. on the third try it finally worked. Yet the tally count of comments went up with each attempted posting I did but couldn't see it show up. Surely it wasn't removed by someone else?Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-59293956706307533582012-06-21T23:21:34.945-07:002012-06-21T23:21:34.945-07:00Tallat,
As you continue to discuss things with Ja...Tallat,<br /><br />As you continue to discuss things with Jay, an analogy regarding the help we want to give might be helpful. Imagine you’re at a public swimming pool. You attempt a tricky dive of some kind and it goes badly. You hit your head on the edge of the diving board and black out. Very soon afterwards, we find your body at the bottom of the pool and you’re not moving. One of us dives in, retrieves you from the bottom, brings you to the surface, lays you out on the side and starts administering CPR (coronary pulmonary resuscitation). The motive for doing that of course is to SAVE YOUR LIFE. The help we are so desperately wanting to give you is the financial equivalent of giving you CPR. In the swimming pool scenario, your very survival depends on receiving the CPR. Likewise, given the state of your cancers and how crucial it is to get them treated early while it’s hopefully still manageable, your very survival may depend on receiving our help. You simply don’t cut somebody’s head open, play around in there, staple him all up and immediately throw him out into the street! You’re NOT going to be able to manage completely on your own right after your surgery and the medical supervision which normally follows a major surgery is something that you MUST have, period. Since your insurance will not cover that aftercare, you need a “Plan B” fast. We can be that “Plan B.”<br /><br />The important difference between the hypothetical and your circumstances ISN’T that one involves administering a medical procedure and the other involves the giving of money; it’s that we didn’t need your permission to give you the lifesaving CPR, but seemingly we DO need your permission to give you what may be equally lifesaving aid financially. And that’s a pretty perverse difference indeed.<br /><br />Earlier, I had proposed that all non-homeless Depfox subscribers contribute just $10, which could raise $180,000. On an individual basis, all $10 buys in the U.S. is a large fast food meal, such as McDonalds or Taco Bell. Now you understand in operational terms how insignificant $10 is for any one person here. It’s considered a very trivial amount of money that we spend anytime, anywhere, all the time and we never miss it. So, for any one of us, it really is no big deal. But acting collectively we can raise a sum of money that IS large and significant. Such help would be a lifesaver for you and you would have enormous difficulty raising that amount by other means.<br /><br />Are you really ready to just throw your life away just for the sake of perceptions of supposedly taking advantage of friendships when those have been thoroughly demonstrated above to be ill-founded? Are you REALLY?Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-33976121065265521332012-06-21T23:21:19.621-07:002012-06-21T23:21:19.621-07:00dave
addiction and escapism do not mix well with ...dave<br /> addiction and escapism do not mix well with the volume and mixture of things my aunt and uncle partook of. he was the bad boy party guy, not really a 'groovy' guy.<br /> my aunt was/is refusing to and maintains an inability to deal with the pretty horrible things that happened to her. having received some of the same treatment myself -sans the drug lifestyle- i have little to no sympathy anymore she chooses to be a victim and i find that repugnant, especially when she involves children. <br />i could say more but no.<br />i love rain, with thunder that shakes the house and lightning that is as bright as the sun and the constant sound of the falling water lulls me into a giddy rest filled with dreams and dragons.steeldragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13726804816418609288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-17163192430408107202012-06-21T22:41:30.403-07:002012-06-21T22:41:30.403-07:00tallat,
being a survivor myself -indirectly- i re...tallat,<br /> being a survivor myself -indirectly- i respectfully disagree. however, i recognize and understand your perspective and your wishes here and i will honor it. please, do not hesitate to say the word if and/or when you are willing to accept any financial aid from us (and i cannot currently promise much personally). i have been a student as well working multiple jobs to do it. <br /><br />know that you are in my thoughts and that all that i can do is available. <br /><br />also, you have an amazing light up everything smile when it reaches your eyes, may you have more reasons to smile like that in the future.<br /><br />Size mutluluk dolu yıllar diliyorum!steeldragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13726804816418609288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-43584043386551475802012-06-20T07:06:58.170-07:002012-06-20T07:06:58.170-07:00Jay i think that reaching cancer groups in London ...Jay i think that reaching cancer groups in London its great idea. I dont think he would refuse help from them, even knowing that we moved the groups to help him, right Tallat? :D hehe<br /><br />But of course Tallat, that if u really think in what Dave have said, there is no reason for u dont accept our help, or AT LEAST Jay's help! (What we can do, Jay, is help u secretly so u can help Tallat ;) hehehe )<br /><br />So as u can see Tallat, this people here wont stop trying help u. We may respect ur decision, but we dont agree with it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08035638532918751602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-8425653901676613502012-06-20T03:54:02.765-07:002012-06-20T03:54:02.765-07:00Jay,
Don't know if you saw my last statement ...Jay,<br /><br />Don't know if you saw my last statement to Tallat, but I tried to explain his perception of taking advantage of friendships with you and us really only is plausible had he asked us in the first instance for help. But when we are down on our knees BEGGING him to accept our help so we can save his life, the applicability of that perception doesn't hold up so well.Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-39591904857162055542012-06-19T23:57:05.603-07:002012-06-19T23:57:05.603-07:00Dave I am still trying to work on him...He has bee...Dave I am still trying to work on him...He has been told that his insurance will cover his surgery but not his care after the surgery maybe we can look into some cancer groups in London that assist people in need like TalatGFVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02950236433262366445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-18075815274057740382012-06-19T21:04:48.065-07:002012-06-19T21:04:48.065-07:00Hi Tallat,
Of course you haven't offended us....Hi Tallat,<br /><br />Of course you haven't offended us. Our only concern is for your wellbeing and we worry that decisions you make might jeopardize that. I understand your feelings of taking money from us feels to you like you're taking advantage of your friendship with Jay and Bryan and with us. Had this all begun with you doing the asking, that perception might have some support. We respect your decision not to accept help from us at this time, but I just want to be sure you understand that, in terms of perception of supposedly taking advantage of a friendship, it is ENTIRELY different when we are all practically down on our knees BEGGING you to accept our help. The two different circumstances couldn't possibly be further apart from each other. The first scenario conceivably could have the appearance of manipulation had you asked in the first instance, whereas all that can be said about the second is that you are truly blessed to have so many friends who care for and love you and want to save your life through our help. Saving your life has been what this has all been about from day one.Davenoreply@blogger.com