tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post8371410164920079732..comments2024-03-05T23:31:44.106-08:00Comments on Gay Family Values: OCD Diaries: "Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself"GFVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02950236433262366445noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-19090788019982781262011-08-19T08:15:13.361-07:002011-08-19T08:15:13.361-07:00Good luck!
This is just my uninformed opinion, but...Good luck!<br />This is just my uninformed opinion, but from where I am siting, the fact that you are self aware and strong enough to write a post like this, shows that you can beet this thing, no matter how long it takes or how many things you have to try before you do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-45738181882083732462011-08-15T19:54:56.114-07:002011-08-15T19:54:56.114-07:00Thank you for your bravely honest post, Bryan. I ...Thank you for your bravely honest post, Bryan. I worked with an ACT therapist during a rough time when anxiety was keeping me from living much of a life, and I found it very helpful. I also had absurdly high standards for spiritual purity that I was constantly failing to live up to. They weren't imposed from the outside in terms of religious training, I had just set a bunch of standards that didn't really take into account my humanity! I've since made my peace and found a way of integrating/understanding God, religion, and "things spiritual" that works for me in a way that is lovingly supportive rather than punitive and harsh. My hope is that you find a way of relating with your spiritual life that brings you peace and honors the truly remarkable person that you are.Whitmansspidernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-85051155741613403782011-08-15T14:17:38.103-07:002011-08-15T14:17:38.103-07:00Good luck! I really think you can do this thing!Good luck! I really think you can do this thing!NittonNioTrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08566442810687398254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-62755372044074330762011-08-13T14:30:23.777-07:002011-08-13T14:30:23.777-07:00Bryan, I grew up in a very religious family, too. ...Bryan, I grew up in a very religious family, too. The brand of christianity that I grew up with had a whole category of sin that was 'bad thoughts'. Now I realize how tantamount to torture that is. You're guilty not for something that you actually do that harms someone, but you're guilty just for any random thought or emotion. Truly believing that can cause so many psychological problems. With me, it gradually desensitized me into apathy and depression because there is no way to control your thoughts. I tried to control my thoughts and not be gay for my entire adolescence, and it did extreme harm. I can't help but think that you might have OCD-like symptoms for similar reasons (of how you grew up). It took me a long time to realize that whatever you think, it is not WRONG. Only things you do, to another person/being can be wrong. From experience, I know that the more you try not to think along a certain line, the more you end up doing so. A thought is just that, a thought, and you CAN let it go as soon as you acknowledge it and realize it is a neutral harmless thing. I wish that I lived closer to you guys just so that I can be an ear that you can talk to. Feeling like your own mind is your enemy is a horrible place to be in, and makes you very anxious. Anyway, I hope that the therapy you try will help you to overcome the guilt, anxiety, and the fear. You area unique wonderful person, and just because you have OCD-like symptoms doesn't make you sick. You are on a unique path that is yours alone, and your journey is your own, and if you believe that you can win this battle and overcome your past, then you can. I wish you the best. :)Ted Rodrigueshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01444981787696788777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-10410066171723251942011-08-13T06:42:33.410-07:002011-08-13T06:42:33.410-07:00Dear Bryan,
you hit the nail on the head. It IS a...Dear Bryan, <br />you hit the nail on the head. It IS about fear and accepting it/yourself/your thoughts by facing them as they are. Without judging, as Miguel writes. Let them be. Step by step, and allow yourself to fail. 'Cause you're still great. <br /><br />Best wishes,<br />ArtyArtjommmhttp://www.youtube.com/user/Artjommmnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-53056330127253220872011-08-12T09:59:18.917-07:002011-08-12T09:59:18.917-07:00First up, thank you for having the courage of writ...First up, thank you for having the courage of writing such a great piece on something that is clearly one of your best-kept secrets.<br /><br />Though I can't possibly know a) what your feelings are during an episode (or permanently, whichever the case may be) and b) the best way to deal with it, I think I might toss something that might, with any luck, help you.<br /><br />Personally, I've discovered that the best way to deal with problems/fears is head-on. The only ones I haven't done that with (a.k.a. my homophobic parents) have caused me enough grief for several lifetimes, which I must cope with each passing day.<br /><br />On the other hand, the fears I have faced don't cause me nearly as much trouble. Those I can even laugh at, most of the times.<br /><br />So probably the best idea would be to either give your fear a manifestation, like Robert said, or search for the root/cause of your fear, which will probably then manifest itself. Of course, you'll need your husband by your side, but I'm sure he'll be glad to help you out, right?<br /><br />Also, for short-lived episodes, you might want to try something else. This one I picked up while learning how to meditate. One of the objectives of meditation is clearing your mind of any thoughts, right? However, and especially for untrained (or restless, in your case) minds, it's virtually impossible to get to that point easily.<br /><br />But here's the catch: one of the techniques used actually involves acknowledging the thoughts that come to the mind, contemplating them, and letting them go without judging them (or acting on them). I know, easier said than done. But as you put it, one of the causes of your stress is the fact you not only judge but act on a thought. The mere fact of judging it serves as a catalyst to the action, so instead of focusing on preventing the action (after the judgment) might be not only easier but also more effective. At least from where I'm standing...<br /><br />Now, an example: say I was trying to meditate. I am in the process of clearing my mind, and the thought of a flying pink elephant (Simpsons reference :P) crawls into my mind. Instead of thinking "hey, a flying pink elephant!" and laughing to myself (or digressing to the Simpsons or trying to wonder why that pink elephant appeared, or whatever), I'd think "ok, a flying pink elephant. I am thinking about a flying pink elephant", and let it sit there.<br /><br />Then, and thanks to the limits of human attention span, the flying pink elephant would just go away. If you let your mind unfocus, most thoughts move on by themselves.<br /><br />OK, I'm writing WAAAAY too much already.<br /><br />I hope what I wrote is not completely useless.<br /><br />Best wishes for you, your husband and the kids, all the way from Portugal.<br /><br />MiguelAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-80990174822176996512011-08-11T19:01:08.671-07:002011-08-11T19:01:08.671-07:00the anonymous post is from me Gary, email medicguy...the anonymous post is from me Gary, email medicguy@optonline.netAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-29750963116540109282011-08-11T18:58:22.475-07:002011-08-11T18:58:22.475-07:00About 20 years ago I was in a so called relationsh...About 20 years ago I was in a so called relationship, and began getting scared. Didn't know why or what was causing it and though i was losing my mind. Well to be brief I had a complete anxiety crisis. I was so bad. would not sleep for days went to work half dead. Scared all the time. Scared of losing my mind. Well jump ahead to today and yes I have anxiety disorder. But I am much much better. I know all about those thoughts. They still plague me but I find that although group might help, sometimes I succumb to other peoples symptoms that i stay away from group. I travel and try to go about life as best as I can. I am in therapy and that saved my life except for one thing. No love. I am scared to get back into a relationship. One because i am scared of all the feelings and two I don't want to be the weak one in the relationship. The one with the problem. I know it sounds bad but I am scared and very lonelyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-74723202051279763962011-08-11T13:52:35.511-07:002011-08-11T13:52:35.511-07:00Not to be simplistic, but per Erin's post it s...Not to be simplistic, but per Erin's post it sounds like you should give your fear a manifestation, buy it a beer and put a couple of dollars in the jukebox. Then start talking and see where it goes from there. :) <br /><br />As always you have my support and prayers.<br /><br />BobRobert Counihanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07235391883586810851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-70004118249990973402011-08-11T11:37:28.640-07:002011-08-11T11:37:28.640-07:00Great post Bryan!
Awesome to hear you're makin...Great post Bryan!<br />Awesome to hear you're making some progress regarding your OCD and it can only get better now ;)Trvlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04877635400712615602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-74658373549116666692011-08-11T09:10:15.275-07:002011-08-11T09:10:15.275-07:00Wow Brian! Thanks for such a brilliant post, and t...Wow Brian! Thanks for such a brilliant post, and to have the courage to talk about your OCD with the world. I follow your bog all the way from down here in Australia and always look forward to your posts. The work you and Jay do has truly helped me through many tough situations Ive encountered in my final year of school. Keep up the good work!!!<br /><br />RobertAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com