tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post695339874177638178..comments2024-03-05T23:31:44.106-08:00Comments on Gay Family Values: Milestones...."The Talk"GFVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02950236433262366445noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-13368237273414052832011-04-24T01:48:34.950-07:002011-04-24T01:48:34.950-07:00lol I also had that talk with my son when he was a...lol I also had that talk with my son when he was age appropriate.<br />But my sister-in-law took it upon herself to be very open about it 3 years earlier (which I was furious about as it wasnt her place to tell my son anything like that)<br />Got to tell you I actually looked forward to this talk with my son, which is why I was furious with my sister-in-law she took my mother-son moment from me...<br />My son on the other hand was mortified ... and like daniel doesnt like discussing his innermost thoughts with any one...but we got there.<br />I never had any talks with my parents just a cartoon book handed to me and that was it, so most of my information came from the girls locker rooms than high school Sex Ed, but didnt tell you about the emotions with the biology ... so I was quite old when I understood my sexuality which some days I still find hard, simply because that was never discussed with me.. <br />so I bit off topic sorry<br />BellaBellahttp://bellalee40.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-91919124056600159542010-10-28T13:09:15.698-07:002010-10-28T13:09:15.698-07:00I have a big smile on my face right now. This blo...I have a big smile on my face right now. This blog has brought a flood of memories of the 90's and raising five foster boys.<br />They were all related to each other, which made things easier in some ways, harder in others. "The Talk" was really tough with the oldest, since there was a great deal of misinformation. It did get easier by the third boy, because his brothers told him what I had told them. (Their schedule pre-empted my own), and I was always honest and open about my own life. They all saw everything but the sex. (Including a period of time when dad was doing drag for charity events.) <br />One thing I did was purchase a family membership at a local, gay friendly gym. Not only did the boys get the chance to burn off lots of excess energy, but the relaxed atmosphere allowed them to be comfortable about their bodies, and open to talking about sex and all the ramifications of growing up. (puberty, etc.)<br /><br />At any rate, thanks for the memories! God Bless both of you, and both of your children!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16460313471405912778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-31582578708059276182010-10-25T22:44:31.036-07:002010-10-25T22:44:31.036-07:00Good job on handling it well, also, I'm very p...Good job on handling it well, also, I'm very proud of Daniel for handing it well too!dfannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-4549275205753608732010-10-17T11:37:36.314-07:002010-10-17T11:37:36.314-07:00now i have to google birds and bees.now i have to google birds and bees.fahimahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06041675392408860659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-87198839013673926422010-10-17T05:35:02.557-07:002010-10-17T05:35:02.557-07:00Love your posts. You are doing great and I love re...Love your posts. You are doing great and I love reading about your life! Also a fan on youtube as well.<br /><br />We hope to be where you are some day. We are trying very hard. It is quite the emotional process. You are blessed. Remember that.Brenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18058141918229902261noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-19925928572115490562010-10-17T01:10:33.873-07:002010-10-17T01:10:33.873-07:00My parents, while well-intentioned people, handed ...My parents, while well-intentioned people, handed me a book and told me to read it. I was mortified at all the "parts fit together" illustrations. The best things of all is when my mom asked me afterwards if I had any questions. The only thing I could think to ask her was "What is homicide?" What do you ask in the 5th grade when you're totally embarrassed and don't really understand what you're being told? Especially when it's something you've never talked about before. <br /><br />After that, sex was never mentioned again...until I was in high school. I was slyly told that if I had sex I would be doing something "wrong" and "disappointing." I was no where near ready for that, and I was already being accused of making mistakes? I had sex for the first time as a sophomore in college and I went to friends at work for advice. I'm really sorry that I couldn't have been raised in an environment where it was ok to ask questions...I was always terrified at my mother's awkward handling of the entire thing. I approached her in 7th grade about shaving my legs after weeks of torturing myself about how to confront her. I'll never forget that she was on her way downstairs to go out the door to work and when I finally got up enough courage, I said simply, "Mom, can I shave my legs?" Kids were calling me Monkey Girl at school...and she didn't say anything for a while. She just stared and then said ok. But I didn't know how to do it! So I said to her, "What do I do?" And she said this before walking down the stairs and out the door: "Use a lot of soap." <br /><br />I am glad that you are addressing this issue with honesty and integrity with your children and such good intentions....it's something I feel I deserved and never received. It was such a good idea to borrow the movies from the school so that you could see what Daniel was watching before he was on his own with a classroom full of kids and a teacher. It's important that he knows from his parents that sex is not bad or shameful and that he knows from his parents, first and foremost.<br /><br />Congrats on crossing this threshold with your son and may you have many more moments of joy and celebration with him as he comes of age. Honesty and tenderness are so important when it comes to these things and it sounds like you're off to a great start. In some ways I hope I'm never a parent....I would never know how to go about this. <br /><br />I'm rooting for you.<br />MaureenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-91085107219304850942010-10-17T00:31:22.859-07:002010-10-17T00:31:22.859-07:00I agree with what you said above. Most kids are f...I agree with what you said above. Most kids are finding out before that talk and from less reputable sources. Way to go!<br /><br />I believe that there shouldn't just be one talk but a series of age appropriate discussions as the child grows. My kids live with their uber-religious mother during the school year, but on weekends and vacations with me I'm often flooded with questions about body parts and functions...because they know they'll get an honest answer from me. <br /><br />Sometimes that has led to portions of "the talk". They just need to know they can ask and get an answer. I've had to explain puberty and body changes to my 11 year old daughter... that's a fun one for a gay Dad...dadsprimalscreamhttp://dadsprimalscream.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-60167001458369602412010-10-16T20:51:17.539-07:002010-10-16T20:51:17.539-07:00It's great that you did this. I don't thin...It's great that you did this. I don't think I ever got a proper talk from my parents but fortunately I did pick up correct information and responsible behavior along the way through small comments and probably a variety of sources. <br /><br />I've taught high school electives that included considerable sex ed components and it's shocking how many kids 14-20(yeah I had quite a few students that were 20 year old 9th and 10th graders) don't know even basic information. Heck, even among my many students that had children already less than half even knew what the cervix is.<br /><br />As awkward as it may be to have "the talk", it's important for kids to grow up informed about sex, sexuality, relationships, reproduction and anatomy. The sheltering approach so many parents, especially the uber-religious, insist on(i.e. abstinence only garbage) just leads to kids that are irresponsible and/or emotionally crippled when it comes to sex.TheStoasterRisenhttp://www.youtube.com/user/TheStoasterRisennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-29967637511693600632010-10-16T19:28:40.199-07:002010-10-16T19:28:40.199-07:00Sounds like you covered all the bases. Well done.
...Sounds like you covered all the bases. Well done.<br /><br />A good guide for measuring what is age appropriate, is to open up the dialogue, frame the conversation properly, and then see what the child / young adult says and asks. Usually I would think if they can ask the question, they are ready for an answer.<br /><br />But all children are different, and the talk you had seems to have went very well.<br /><br />I never had that talk with my parents, but they did say occasionally that I could ask them anything etc. I never felt I had that relationship with with them that you seem to have with your kids. <br /><br />Bravo!David J. M. Samsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11185367695948887909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-89230468508054115982010-10-16T19:19:47.998-07:002010-10-16T19:19:47.998-07:00@hayofray
oh man...I am so sorry. Hahahaha....
Y...@hayofray<br /><br />oh man...I am so sorry. Hahahaha....<br /><br />Yes we need to address these issues because I guaranty they are hearing it from less than "reputable" sources.GFVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02950236433262366445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-72821279451181070762010-10-16T17:35:59.974-07:002010-10-16T17:35:59.974-07:00I remember those Sex Ed Vids! And mine too were ve...I remember those Sex Ed Vids! And mine too were very old! Weird ey!?Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13749124291353516751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-587902609826926070.post-68893535816902026842010-10-16T16:47:36.581-07:002010-10-16T16:47:36.581-07:00Your timing couldn't be better for me personal...Your timing couldn't be better for me personally. I'm part of the Big Brother program and I've been with my little for 2.5 years. <br /><br />Just yesterday his Mother found out he, all of 10 years of age next month and in the 4th grade, has a girlfriend. And she's in the 5th grade! And she kissed him yesterday!! <br /><br />Really?! We need to address these issues now?! He's 10! His Mom will address some issues this weekend and then next weekend it'll be my turn. I swear we had at least another year or two. Aw, man...well thanks for the heads up and the ideas. The next thud you hear will be me hitting the ground when I faint during our "talk."Hayofrayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08822545784104672102noreply@blogger.com