Most couples only get one anniversary to repeatedly forget year after year to the consternation of their spouses. Those of us in the GLBTQI world often get many. I mean it...lots. In fact, I think we should get a bulk discount from Hallmark.
For Jay and I it goes down something like this. First is the day we kissed along the beach at Goat Rock. That was the day our relationship went from "friends" to "boyfriends" in one moment of destiny...
The Day we signed up as domestic partners, November 4th 1998 is the day we really mark as being our true anniversary. This day also happens to be my Bday. We had been together about a year or so when Jay decided to treat me to a night in the city. We saw "Phantom Of The Opera" and stayed the night in a nice hotel...all in all it was already an awsome birthday by then. The next morning we went to breakfast at Denny's and after that I was just expecting to go home and get on with daily life. But...again, ordinary moments sometimes become extraordinary. Jay pulled a card from under the table, which I expected to be a birthday card. On the cover was an image on a dozen roses and inside he asked me to marry him. ...I cried like a big baby. It freaked our waitress out, who thought something was wrong. Little did she know that something was really right. Of course it was an instant yes. Immediately after, we went downtown and filed the paperwork for domestic partnership with the city of San Francisco. Thats all it was....no fan fare or wedding bells...just sign on the dotted line and I was sooo happy to have it. I left that day feeling more happy and proud than I have ever felt in my life to know that this man would WANT to stand beside me in sickness and in health as long was we both shall live (just don't ask him about laziness). this is the Day inscribed in our wedding rings and we will keep it forever.
This October 26th will be the Anniversary of the day that Jay and I got legally married in the state of California. It was finally the opportunity to have all the bells and whistles we didn't get to have in 1998 and to celebrate our union with family and friends. To wear uncomfortable cloths, stuff ourselves silly, drink way too much, and dance very...very....badly, and spend waaaaayyyy too much money doing it. You know...just like the heterosexualls do (sorry,couldn't resist)
Why did we chose this day and not November 4th? Well November 4th is not only my Bday, its also the day we vote and Prop 8 was up for vote that very day. We didn't want to go to all that effort and expense to have our marriage fall outside of some arbitrary deadline for marriage license submittal. What a heart break that would have been. So here we are with an anniversary trilogy. I'm sure George Lucas could do something with this. Throw some ewoks at it and make it a holiday special or something...(*ahem*) but moving on..
The day itself could not have been more beautifull. The memory of it washes away all the sadness and anger that followed shortly after. And that is why we will keep trying to show people what it looks like for a gay couple to get married and have kids. Are we perfect?...no...we make tons of mistakes just like everyone else. Thats life...and being human. But We will keep showing it, so that one day everyone else will be able to wash away those past memories of inequality with the memory of a dream long held finally coming true.
Allow us to bore you with our wedding videos. We really are just big saps:
Thank you soooo Much Carina for shooting this video for us. You have always been a great friend and have now given us the perfect triple anniversary present!