Finally!...Its Back!! The next episode of "Ask A Gay Family" is here! This week, in Episode 7, we cover Bi Canadians...well, not exactly....
This weeks first question came from YouTube user Bilong92 and she asks:
Have you ever considered moving to Canada?...and if you did, would you feel like you were outside of the struggle for gay rights, looking in?
Yes we have. We thought about it during California's first failed bid for marriage equality...Prop 22. this was way before we considered bringing children into our lives. I had some deep misgivings about the whole idea but I could see which way the wind was blowing. Jay looked into it and discovered that they have a point system to qualify for citizenship. I was shocked to learn that we got points for my last name but Jay got no credit for being in law enforcement. I thought he would be in high demand. I guess Canada is a utopia and doesn't have to worry about crime.
To clarify my point of view on this, I was raised to believe in the values that our country is SUPPOSED to stand for. My dad was a vet and had pretty clear feelings about this. To leave the country of my birth feels like a betrayal of all it stood for(yes, I used the past tense here). If all the gay people in the world DID decide to move to an island...it would be an awesome island...but the rest of the world would suck.
I have said that if the Supreme Court sanctions discrimination against gays, that it would change the game for me and that I would consider immigration. I'm not sure that I am being 100% true to myself when I say this. I would miss the green hills of my home and the way the setting sun casts golden light on the vineyards...*sigh*
I wonder what my ancestors, the Huguenots, who fled France because of religious persecutions would think of the irony of this. Or any of the other of my antecedents who came here for the chance of a better life....we can't keep running somewhere else.
How do we change the world we live in if we put ourselves in ghettos? I don't see the positive in that. I want to see my country overcome this. I want to know that every time I stood up for the Pledge Of Allegiance, it meant something.
Jay has a little different view than I do but then, he has always wanted to move somewhere else when he retires...perhaps for him it is just another adventure. For me it feels like leaving home...
The answer to the second part of this question is no, we wouldn't feel outside of the fight...even if we had to put up a pirate website from our secret underground Canadian base in the tundra. Though I really hate the cold.
As of now, Jay and I, along with many other gay couples in California, are legally married. That already puts us in a similar position than if we had moved to Canada. We could stop and enjoy our life as legally married citizens...but we know better. We know it doesn't stop with us and that if we don't do something to help others in this country and in the world achieve those same rights...we don't deserve to have the ones we have. We have not yet reached full equality. If we sit idle, NOM and their sister groups will continue to roll back gay rights until they can burn our marriage license and put us back in the shadows.
Our second question came from YouTube user, alifeinthelens:
What are your views on bisexuality?
This was a fun one to answer but entirely too easy. Both Jay and I think that sexuality is more like a continuum and that most people are scattered somewhere along the line between the extremes of, 100% heterosexual and 100% homosexual...and there are even a few options beyond those two poles. I believe our sexuality IS hardwired into our brains. You are what you are, where ever that puts you on the sexuality spectrum. So..the conclusion is, that Bisexuality is absolutely real and the reason for the "B" in "LGBTQI"(Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning, Inter sexed) but man, is that an awkward acronym to use. It doesn't sound good anywhere.
My contribution to this discussion was to point out that many of us as "LGBTQI" peoples use the claim of bisexuality as a way to become comfortable with the idea of being gay. In this instance it is like swimming in the shallow end of the pool until you are a strong enough to swim in the deep end. I did this for a few months until I realised that I was only fooling myself. That's part of the process of coming out and self acceptance is rarely automatic.
Well dear readers, that wraps up this episode of "Ask A Gay Family". If anyone has questions for us, we always give priority to questions posted as a video response to the most recent episode of "Ask A Gay Family". You can also send us your questions at www.gay-family-values.com and go to the "contact us" tab.
But for now let me leave you with a little Maple flavored goodness in the form of the full "Canadian Please" video by gunnarolla...Cya later eh.