Protect The Children

Isn't that how the mantra goes when the tide turns to recognizing equality for the LGBT community? No matter what the issue at hand might be, instead of making their stand on religious grounds, those who oppose acceptance of gay, lesbian, bisexual,and transgendered people twist the conversation around to one of protecting children. What really cheeses me off however, is that they are not really for protecting children at all. Few, if any, of the people who have criticized Jay and myself for raising children will ever open their home to a child in need of a family. Many would rather a child age out of the foster system never knowing a family, than see them raised by a loving same-sex family.

But the reality is that we DO have families and those children can be equally as harmed by the lack of legal recognition and protections as their parents are. A recent video from the Family Equality Council highlights this issue and shows how bans on same-sex marriage and attacks on gay rights can have a serious impact on the most vulnerable people of all....kids like mine. Check out the video after the jump and ask yourself who is really being protected by anti-gay laws?... because it's not children. I can guarantee you that.

Cold and Flu Season Strikes Again

*Bleh*....it's that time of year when the colds and flu's start to circulate and I am feeling like my head is stuffed full of cotton....and you don't even want to know what my nose is up to. I have tried to write at least ten times today but I can't seem to muster the focus to put together coherent sentences. (yes...I know, never stopped my before right?)

It always begins with the schools....first one classmate is gone, then another is out for a week, then they start dropping like flies...each of them spreading around something I know is gonna come home soon. Selena gives me the breakdown on who was out and for how long because she totally keeps tabs on her classmates that way. I know who got the broken arm and who barfed and had to go home because she will totally tell me everything in stomach churning detail. I often wonder why kids who are sick still end up at school but I guess when both parents work that kinda thing is just going to happen. So when a handfull of kids went absent last week I knew it was coming. And no amount of vitamin C will stop it's reign of terror.

First it was our oldest Foster boy(I call him crash) with the upset stomach that knocked him out for a night then quickly cleared up. Then it was Daniel with the same issue and now its sore throats and runny noses for everybody!...Yay!!!!!....ugh. One by one the seasonal bugs are taking us out as they do each year flu shot or no flu shot. Now all the kids are better and off at school collecting the next round of bugs that they will circulate amongst the rest of us. I

When kids get sick they get to curl up in front of the T.V. and snuggle in a warm blanket. I totally miss those days. My kids love being home, but they hate being made to sit still...even in front of the tv. One afternoon of that and they are chomping at the bit to go back to school. I was soooo not like that at there age. Any chance to stay out of school I milked for all it was worth. But today, when dad gets sick...he has to empty the dishwasher, answer emails, mind the concrete guys working in the back, and make sure everything keeps functioning. Taking time out for a nap can often be out of the question. It's just a part of the job...but I really could use a warm, soft blanket and some chicken soup right now.

Ah well. enough complaining...expecially since I know that this is only round one. check out this fridays A Gay Collab video and you will totally hear the sick in my voice...it sounds like puberty all over again. In the mean time I will go back to

Homosexuality In Highschool...And the Uncertain Path to Self-Acceptance

(UPDATE)...during the writing of this post the owner of the video took it down. Not surprising considering he was just a regular person posting a video that they liked. I'm sure they didn't expect all the attention they got. The video itself was made by Pastor Bobby Blakey of Compass Bible Church. If I find another source for the video I will update this post again. In the mean time I hope that there will be something positive to still be gained from this post as is.
(UPDATE 2)...mirrored version of the video re-added thanks to an anonymous benefactor. Thanks!

Sometimes I run across an article or a video that can push all my angry buttons. It's not an easy thing to do since I don't tend to be a person given to anger over all...but it happens. One of the sure ways to do this is to take advantage of a persons weakness's to keep them down. Especially, when I have some personal experience. Today, Towleroad posted a video attributed to WhiteThroneFilms about the moral danger of "Homosexuality In Highschool". In the video they showcase two young men convinced that their inborn sexuality is a sin to be repented of...and since they did it at the ripe old age of seventeen...so can other teens. What bothers me so much about this is that these are the same kids who daily email my husband and I everyday scared, on the edge, and lacking anyone to tell them they are ok just as they are. What bothers me is the hard road they will have to walk before they can acknowledge to themselves who they are, all done in the sake of wanting to be loved. And finally....it bothers me so much because, at the same age, I was them. I could not help but have an emotional reaction to what I saw. Check out the video after the break and maybe you will understand why this hits my emotional buttons.....

Right To Love....Just Don't Pray

Many of my readers may already be aware that our family has been the focus of a documentary about Prop 8 and our YouTube activism called Right To Love: An American Family. The movie has been in production for quite a while and I am happy to report that it is   nearing completion and should be ready very soon. In preparation for release...Jayebird productions put together a new teaser trailer which I have posted above.

Now the reason I bring this up today is not really to bump the trailer but more to discuss an issue that has frustrated both my husband and myself. We have been sending this trailer out to any gay blogs we can think of in the hopes of highlighting the project, but they have been kicking it back because there is a scene with us saying grace around the dinner table. Now....blogs can pick and choose what they want to promote, and probably get inundated with a ton of requests from people asking them to promote their personal projects, I won't fault anyone for trying for controling their own content. The part that gets me, is that one blog admitted that it was the prayer specifically that made them uncomfortable. That is incredibly frustrating to me and my husband who see walls of posts on the blogs about celebrities coming out and how to check out hot guys on google maps....but no one wants to touch a project that could help change the way people see gay families because they are uncomfortable with it's rather tame and low key religious element.

My question to my readers is....Are we wrong to be frustrated by this?  It seems that we focus alot of sex, celebritities, tragedies, and hate mongers...that stuff brings the readers and lights up the comment boards....but when it comes to more positive projects, no one has any interest. Take a look at the trailer and decide for yourself. What is in there that is so provocative?....or is showing our everyday life in film format just not as provocative Zachary Quinto coming out?  You decide and let me know what you think...

Until next time dear readers....

Fear and The Power of Coming Out

Yesterday marked National Coming Day and if you listened very carefully, you may heard the sound of thousands of closet doors being ripped off their hinges....no really....it's true. Every moment, that goes by  another lgbt person is summoning the courage to tell someone the truth about themselves. They may tell a parent, a spouse, a friend,.....they may only be able to speak the words to total strangers through YouTube. It may happen through faltering words, through tears, or by courageous proclamation....by phone call or by letter...but its  happening everyday all over the world....right now.

National Coming Out Day is set aside to talk about the process of coming out......Why we do it, what the benefits  are and what the risks are, all in an effort to foster awareness. That awareness is sorely needed by many, both in the LGBT community and also for the world at large. When we have a clearer idea of what coming out is and what it means to people on both sides of the process perhaps we can handle that moment with a little more understanding, confidence, compassion, and grace. It can be scary and awkward to come out to someone....but it can also be one of the most powerful ways that we can change our lives and the world around us into a better place to be. Secrecy breeds fear...and even though the official day has passed,  lets blow some more closet doors off their hings shall we?

Mommy Bloggers Strike Again

Life can give us a million and one reasons to lose hope. The news is full of examples of horrible things happening everyday. Some of this weeks examples include, the gay couple assaulted at a church, one of the assaulters being the father of one of the victims and the pastor of the church....Or the reports of Jurors in the Brandon McInerney trial who believe that Brandon got a raw deal and that Larry King was the "real bully" because he made "unwanted sexual advances toward Brandon McInerny( /facepalm)....Or the ever increasing climate of persecution for Gays in African countries like Uganda....Or the continued prosecution and separation of gay bi-national couples that daily  splits up people who love each other. The list of horrible happenings grows by the day. However, as I have written this blog over time I have come to the conclusion that it's not the terrible happings  that are remarkable....It is those moments of triumph, love, and acceptance that give us hope and  keep us going. And just when you need that hope the most....a mommy blogger steps in to save the day....

Democrats Finally Stepping Into The Marriage Equality Fray?

This morning I came across a very interesting article via Pam's House Blend and originally from the Washington Blade that has been making it's way around the blogosphere....In it, the Chair of the Democratic National Committee, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, is quoted as saying that if she were asked to, she would consider spending money to fight the current round of same-sex marriage bans in Minnesota and North Carolina. The implication being that Democrats are taking a stand in those states on an issue they have avoided till now.....and if they will do there, they may continue to support marriage equality in future state fights as well. And by "she" we are talking about the Democratic parties money. Furthermore, she goes on to mention that individual state chapters of the Democratic Party were gearing up to battle these amendments. To which I can not help but think....oh, really?

When Your Child Comes Out

Last night I had the opportunity to attend a class put on by our adoption agency on building a healthy identity. It's subject matter was to discuss the ways in which we traditionally define masculine and feminine and what do you do when a child you may be fostering...or in the process of adopting...does not fall within those lines. We talked a great deal about coming out as gay or transgendered and the difficulties that come with first admitting to yourself that you may be gay, bi, trans, or unable to apply any label to ourselves that feels right at all. And once that self discovery is made, how incredibly hard it can be to tell a parent. hell...some of us know about ourselves early on and we still can't tell our folks until we are in our twenties, thirties, or older.

The instructor who gave the class offered it from the perspective of a mother with a transgendered child. And yet...even with that knowledge I walked into that room expecting to have to fill in some blanks for people....and it was me that got schooled instead. We watched a short movie about gender issues and when it was over, the time came for questions and discussion. "Here we go", I thought. And then....one by one the other foster and adoptive parents began raising hands to tell their own stories and offer their own remarks. Nearly to a person, the entire room echoed with accounts of acceptance.....and it blew me away. 

why should it surprise me so much? Well...When I came out to my parents it ended up being a mixed bag of acceptance and rejection and everyday I talk with young gay people who's stories are not always happy endings. I had expected a lot more questions and some resistance...it was a little bit of a happy shock to find so much love in the room.

but as these things do....it got my wheels spinning and I thought maybe there are some parents out there who might benifit a little from the things we discussed and who might have questions of their own. Understanding some of what motivates your child to stand before you and say, "I'm gay." with fear and hope in their eyes may...at the very least help help both parent and child navigate these uncharted waters with more grace.....at most it can save a life. So what is going on in our kids heads? Do they understand the full impact of what this decision will mean for them?....and how the hell do I respond to this? I love my kid...but....how do I deal with this?