Today I Got a call from my sons school principal. Any parent dreads hearing their childs principle on the phone because it either means a trip to her office or possibly the emergency room. Today she informed me that my son had been jumped on by another boy, had fallen backward and hit his head. She said he was in pain and due to the nature of the injury, she asked if I would come down and take a look....o.k....parental freak out time..
I grabbed my little girl and raced down to the school to find out what the heck had happened. Wondering why some other little boy had taken it upon himself to jump on Daniel and hurt him this way. Also I wasn't sure how to handle a head injury...he may look fine now but then collapse later. All kinds of scenarios where playing out in my head as I raced through traffic to get to his school.
I arrived at school and there he was in the office, clutching his head and looking miserable. I felt his head and there were no lumps or swelling, just a small but very tender spot that hurt to the touch. No glazed eyes, no slurred speach, and no sleepiness or dizziness. All systems go it seemed. "what happened Daniel?", I asked gently. I turns out one of his friends had been behind him in line and decided to show his love a little too vigorously by jumping on his back from behind. Daniel fell and knocked his head on the concrete...ouch... o.k ...so horrific scenario one averted...he wasn't attacked by a bully. That, at least, was a relief.
After checking him out and talking to him to determine if he was lucid and knew what planet he was on I determined he was o.k. to go back to class and finish his day. Daniel didn't mind at all, which is proof to me that he really must have knocked his head hard. Normally he would have made a bid to go home.
So..Horiffic scenario two averted...no overt trauma.
I called Jay on the phone to let him know everything was o.k and he asked me something that took me aback. "so it wasn't gay related then?" he asked....I hadn't even considered that scenario in my frantic over worrying. I was glad it was just a friend roughhousing, but what if it hadn't been? Oh, now ..I really would've gone all "poppa bear" on them if that was the case. You can say what you want about me, but you dont mess with kids.
I know from my own past that kids don't need a reason to tease you. If you are sensitive about something, they will find that weakness and exploit it. You don't have to be gay to be called a "fag" or be beat up for it. Two dads is as good a reason as any to be teased. Daniel someday is going to encounter that. I hope not. I hope his world never includes those experiences and I certainly don't want to be the cause of them. We thought about that often before AND after we adopted... "What will our childrens experience be?" It still plays through my head all too often.
My point of view is, kids tease and bully for no reason...they seek out weekness and that weekness can be anything, being the only kid in class to still like toys, having big ears, being percieved as gay, not being athletic, being skinny ...literally anything. As much as I fear for Daniel, I have to let him meet some challenges in his own way. Who knows, he may charm his way through it. I hope we can give him enough confidence in himself to meet that moment of truth with courage and dignity. Or, conversly...he can just kick em in the nuts and run for it...I will love him either way...
But for today daddy chicken little was talked down from the ledge and my parental threat level was dropped from "danger! Will Robinson!" to a mere "..I have a bad feeling about this"....and Selena's not even in school yet...Sheesh...