Saturday, March 23, 2013

Kids of LGBT Families In The Spotlight

It's the eve of the beginning of oral arguments for the Supreme Court on the issues of Prop 8 and DOMA and here I am on a Saturday already holding my breath. It's been a whirlwind week in which the pending cases have been front and center for us all week long. As most of you know...since our Facebook wall is practically wallpapered with son Daniel's letter to Chief Justice John Roberts has gone viral and gotten a lot of attention. Thankfully, the lions share of that attention has been positive and we have been very happy to pass that along to him. I was/am very proud of him and I feel he earned every bit of the praise he has received from this.

However, when it comes to kids and the public eye, there are many who ask if showing our children in such a public way is good for them. This question was brought to me just this last week in a brief spot that Daniel and I were in for CNN's Starting Point. The one and only question I received from the anchors was nothing to with DOMA or Prop 8 but everything to do with why we as parents would chose to put our kids in the spotlight:
...Tell me a little bit about putting your family out there for the world to see. There can be down sides to that too. People can say, "Look, you're showing what it's like to be your family"....There are others who say, "Maybe kids shouldn't be in the spotlight."
It's a fair question...and one that I had a specific answer for but as a parent first and marriage equality advocate second I think the topic is one that bears further discussion. So grab your favorite beverage and follow me after the jump....
The answer I gave to CNN needed to be short and too the point and so....distilled it is this: that laws like Prop 8 and DOMA harm us directly. There does exist a potential for our marriage to be completely invalidated by the Scotus and that's a really big deal for all of us as a family...not just the adults. Similarly, Prop 8 and DOMA's effects don't just harm us as adults, but trickles down to effect our kids as well. This is what's at stake for us. It is not simply an issue or moral is the where the rubber meets the road of our lives.

But many would argue that, while that is true, it does not mean that children need to be front and center to the debate. Many feel that they are too young to really understand the issues they are addressing and many look at a child's point of view as being too influenced by pressure from parents. And still more look at media attention on children as being inherently damaging all by itself. All understandable...especially because, as parents we want to shield children from harm when ever we can. After all, our news is filled with stories of child stars who have crashed and burned later in life that we have developed this view that media exposure is always bad......but is it?

The reason we began YouTube was to give the world a window into the daily lives of a same-sex family. Many people may not know a gay person...they may not have good notions about two men raising children..and still more just may not get how it all works. We understand that, hell....when Jay and I were young men coming out society was only just beginning to talk about same-sex couples raising kids and the discourse was not always a good one. Society still to this day sends the message that kids raised in same-sex households will be a several disadvantages....being teased and bullied, missing the input of a opposite sex parent...and the result of this would be a damaged individual with emotional problems. In short....a list of Complete and utter bullsh*t fed by a lack of real experience with same-sex parents raising kids.

Both Jay and I have had the benefit of knowing kids around our age who had two moms or two dads. When I was a teen, and not out even to myself, there was a young man across the street from me who was being raised by two moms. The good friend of my first boyfriend was a girl with two moms. These examples were out there even if you didn't see examples of them in the news or on television. These people being raised by gay parents were neither gay themselves...nor prone to anymore problems than any one else. And both of them loved their parents very much. Being able to have those examples in my life helped me to understand that family wasn't out of the question for a gay person....even if It seemed hard to make happen. If I wanted to be a dad, my kids would turn out OK.

But the rest of the nation doesn't have the benefit of having someone to look to in order to realize that they fearful stories we are told about gays parenting children are just shadows that vanish in the light of actual experience. And Prop 8 commercials aired in 2008 and not a gay family was shown everywhere  we began to be a little vexed. After all, Prop 8 effected us directly. And as NOM kept on with their shrill, "marriage is about the children campaign." one was saying, "Hey, we have kids too. What about them?" And so we decided it was time that the world learned a thing or two about gay families. And so we started small, never expecting it to take on the life that it has. But over the years we have hoped that it has done good work in the world and helped all people regardless of what walk of life they come from to see what a family with same-sex parents looks like and functions. Our hope is that some day, when the kids are adults, they will look back and be proud of what they were a part of.....and not resentful. I know that is somewhat of a leap of faith on our parts.

But one additional piece of this puzzle still has yet to be discussed...and that's giving kids credit for finding their own voices. There is growing collection of voices from the children of same-sex families and what they have to say speaks volumes:

(I could not find clips of Madison Galluccio's or Zach Wahl's original speach's that had intact audio....thank's a lot YouTube.)

I am proud that my son stands among faces like these. These are kids who are just standing up to tell the world in their own words to show the world just how awesome they are and thereby shatter all the misconceptions people hold about how the children of gay families grow up. Their words carry more weight than any of mine ever could. So it matters...

It matters to the 16 year old kid coming out to himself who now knows he doesn't have to give up his hopes for his life. It matters to the people who may vote on same-sex marriage in voting booths or legislative halls. It matters to the kids themselves that people see them for who they really are. but it's their words this time and their choice to stand up for their families. I, for one, am proud of all of them for it.

So in closing...yes, there is always a risk when you put your family in the public eye but what is at stake for us as same-sex families who have to fight for the same rights and protections that other families are automatically afforded makes it important that we do. But for every video that gets made and every comment that gets logged...or any attention that is garnered by the news...we are parents stand by them, shield them from the worst of internet discourse, and help them navigate through the attention they are receiving just for standing up to defend their families.

Someday I hope there comes a day when having two dads or two moms...or a transgendered parent...wont make a difference. When what matters is that you have parents that love and provide the very best care for their children. I hope that coming out, doesn't mean giving up on having a family....A day when we don't have to fight through legislatures and ballot initiatives just to have the relationships of loving and committed couples recognized as such....and not regarded as strangers in the eyes of the law with all the damage that does. But we don't live in that day yet.

Until we do, we have to keep telling our stories with dignity and respect. We need to protect our children and families....but the world also needs to know that our kids grow into the same happy, healthy adults that kids from straight families do. It seems like that fact should be such a no brainer....but sadly, to many people it is not.

I can't say what my son and daughter will say to me about all of this when they grow up. I know there are days when its fun and days when they would rather be coloring or playing video games....but that's all normal kid stuff. One day it will be there story to tell....just as Daniel has begun to do with this video. As time goes on their individual voices will become more distinct and their viewpoints wholly their own. Hopefully they will have learned from our YouTube experience the power of using your own voice to make change....but what ever hey decide I hope more than anything that they knew they had two dads that love them. But someday, I look forward to the story they have to tell....

until next time dear readers....


  1. If at twelve I had felt it was necessary to get up to testify that my mom, my divorced single mom was a good mother and that passing laws making it harder for us as a family was just the sort of thing that shouldn't be done, thank you very much, I would have done it and I would have written the speech myself. Kids can and often do have the wherewithal to speak for themselves. I'm glad you do not discourage your children from speaking up when they so desire. Besides which, I watched Daniel's youtube video letter to Justice Roberts and I thought it was well written and well delivered. Good for him - and my thanks as well.

  2. I can say I didn’t have the greatest childhood growing up. (We’ll skip how bad for the sake of discussion) My mom got me though it. She was always worried about me being damaged as a kid. I’ve told her time & time again, “You did the best you could with what you had available to you.” I may not know what that sounds like as a parent? I can only hope she hears the “best” part… Over all over the years my friends that have met my parents have said to me that I have no right being as “normal” as I am. All this being said, my parents formed who I am today. I took the best from mom, the best from dad & tried to mush it into me. I think every kid does? That being said, even if you guys screw up on something, that doesn’t mean your kids won’t learn from that mistake when it comes down to them raising your grandkids. You guys seem to have a load of love for these kids & in the end that’s all that matters! Let the rest of the cards fall where they may & don’t worry about it.

  3. Children internalize more than we think--to be entitled, to bully those weaker, to gain social status among their peers by humiliating the outcasts.

    They also learn to love, to give, to fight for the rights of those who don't have a voice to fight themselves.

    They learn that being different doesn't mean being less or not as good.

    In the past couple of days I've watch dozens of your videos, many of them with your children. What I see is that your children have learned all the best lessons possible. That love matters, that actions have consequences--both good and not-so-good actions, from increased attention and scrutiny to victories and accolades, to loss of privileges.

    I look at the glimpses of your family life that you so generously share with the world, and regret that I was never half the parent you both are.

    And that absolute love is what I see reflected in Daniel's letter to Justice Roberts, and in the testimonies of all those children who speak up to the world about injustice, about poverty, about illness.

    Thank you, to all of you, for taking up the standard and putting your faces and your lives on the spotlight. You don't do it for notoriety or fifteen minutes of fame, but due to an ingrained sense of justice and civic responsibility.

    Thank you.

  4. You´re empowering your children - and that´s NEVER wrong. You´re giving the world an inspiring role model, and not only gay youth - everyone out there can learn how important it is to stand up for themselves and for what they believe. Your son is only duplicanting the wonderful examples he has at home, and hopefully, many others will follow - so that in a near future, yes, we all can have a world where children can only be children without worring about having to defend their homes and families publicly. Some day, not now, not tomorrow, but with great kids as yours, much sooner than I used to believe. Hugs and love here from Brazil, and congrats for caring so much (about your readers, about the rights and wrongs for your public work and your family) that you thought you needed come here and say once again, that you concern for your children´s well being always come first. And that´s why they are already starting to give back (to the world, some of the love and respect you guve them dayly). Hope one day, my straight ass can be as half as a parent that you guys are. ;)

  5. A couple of thoughts. Chris Spode, above, put it really well when he said that both of you are empowering your kids. That's huge. As well, I can only imagine the pride and triumph Daniel feels now that he has made such a notable contribution to the publication of the family values you have been giving witness to since you began your project (and long before I'd venture to guess.) He must feel like Zach Wahls in some ways.

    Yours is not some reality television show- the dark side of putting a family on display. It is, instead, a magical lens that many of us can look and vicariously thrill through. It does not go unappreciated.

    But one of the best things is that perhaps, to a great extent, up until now you've been preaching to the choir. Daniel's magnificent effort is a breakthrough to the mainstream that now has reached a huge audience, and audience that might not have had the opportunity to get to know the Leffew family.

    As always, our thanks. And most especially to Daniel. Proud of him.

  6. I think.... Either kids learn to be weak or be strong. The world is the world and kids have to learn to deal with it. You can't shelter them from it forever but you can teach them pride, strength, intelligence, compassion. You can teach them that they can change the world, that the world can be changed. You can teach them that despite the problems we leave them that there is hope and kindness and good people in this world. Hxx

  7. Great work Daniel. You stood up in that letter. Its the feather of the moment and shows us the kind of person you are. Your Dads are honored by you and you honor yourself.
    For all the attention given to the darker side of child celebrity there is success. If the celebrity is accompanied with solid foundations then the likelyhood of train wreck is lessened. Ultimately the choices of a life is on that individual and we all contain light and dark.

  8. We as people that are GLBT, we definitely have a serious problem in our hands, The individuals against equality & marriage, they have a huge coalition that will bring down prop 8 & Doma from being overturned, The NRA has stepped in to crush the opposition of prop 8 & DOMA with Senate Republicans, Tea Party Activists, World Religious Groups, USSR. These people are hidden by the us government and must be stopped before its too late. The surpreme court has no adequate power to overthrow these coalitions. The GLBT community is in serious trouble if the NRA gets involved as they are involved the gun laws. The information you received is hidden files that were phished.

  9. Wasn't there a child raised by two lesbians who testified AGAINST homosexual parenting? While Zach's speech went viral, stories like Lopez's just seem to fall on the wayside while media continues to project the stories the public wants to hear.

    I have a few examples:

    If there are parental examples like these, maybe there are reasons why LGTB raised-kids are so silent. Just saying

    1. Actually...having known LGBT raised kids BEFORE raising any children of my own I can tell you that they are silent because they don't see anything so incredibly different about how they were raised or who they were raised by.
      People want to make this such a controversy, as if this is a new thing that must be studied, but what they fail to grasp is that kids raised by LGBT people are living and working right next to them everyday....but you would not know the difference, because there is none.
      Most of these people just want to get on with their lives just like the rest of us do and it is only a handfull who ever speak up(for or against).
      I'm sure their are kids raised by LGBT people who had less than ideal parents because that would be more in line with the larger population. If you polled an equivelent number of adults raised in heterosexual households you would probably find many who had terrible things to say about their upbringing as well. That negative stories may exist does not point out any inherent flaw in LGBT parenting in and of itself because those same complaints are made by adult children EVERYWHERE.
      The greater issue here is not those who dissent...but in the greater similarities that point to the fact that LGBT parents do just as well as any other loving and commited parent...including in our humanity and our capacity to make mistakes. but making mistakes is not the rule, nor should it dam gay people from parenting....because if that were the case no straight people would be allowed to be parents either.

      Our kids are alright...and they are going to be alright and all the effort to recast the argument into one in which our kids are defficient or flawed because of their parents is illogical, absurd, and kind of insulting to the kids themselves.

  10. @Zoey, I agree with you that there are probably very solid reasons for any child to oppose fostering more of their kind of childhood. Considering that due to the social exclusion and public rejection of lgbt persons, especially trans of all stripes, we are more likely to have problems of certain types and adding kids into those issues does.not make a good mix frequently.
    Straight parents can be equally bad. If not more so, especially to lgbt kids.
    In essence, I agree with you that there are probably many reasons for many kids to not stand up, the same applies to many adults of all stripes raising kids. We cannot get out of a broken situation until people are willing to find something better.

    1. I'm bi, I care nothing what straight parents do, the majority of them are mediocre and have this 'its good enough'attitude, which is why they are so opposed to attachment parenting and breastfeeding. Gays in surrogacy and sperm donning are just plan and simply inconsiderate to their child's social, health and biological wants, and have a nifty way of attaining pity from the media and making their children fit into their world, than vise versa.

      For instance, the majority of lesbian couples purchase children from sperm banks their reasons revolve around themselves "it's easier for me for the father to not be involved, I want my child to be attached to me and my partner, me me me me me" has it ever occur to them, that like 90% of the world, their kids may want opposite sex parents? A deaf lesbian couple took their selfabsorption to an extreme, they genetically engineered their child to be deaf by an anonymous sperm donor to 'make' a deaf family.

      Are children like pets now? they adapt For their parents wants/needs and be loyal to the end no matter what?

      Mediocre straight parents doesn't justify selfish gay parents, I'm so tired of this "straight people do it too!" rebuttal to justify the typical antics of gay individuals, its entirely juvenile and childish. A number of straight men sexually touch their little girls, should gay men do the same?

      Adopted kids (astray from surrogacy) if anything, don't want LGTB parents because they don't want same sex parents, or parents with gender disorders. Now, I hardly hear adopted kids complain about someone giving them a home, but if they did complain, (like Selena has), I suppose it would be that "I want a _____ (opposite sex parent)" issue gays continue to sweep under the carpet.

  11. Zoey I take issue with these blogs I read all of them and they are great stories but mu guess is they are not the norm when it comes to kids being raised by two moms or two dads. You are trying to suggest that the lack of a "Sex" father mother some how effects a child's upbringing. My children are very healthy happy and well adjusted and to be a 100% hones I have never met a child in an LGBT family that seemed confused or unhappy about their upbringing. We get thousands of emails letters from young people and never once have I received a message letter like these blog post. Jay

    1. PART 1: How do you know? I actually do have a neighbor with two moms (aunts) and she told my brothers and i we were lucky to live in a house where our dad wasn't a anon-donor, and we know all of our siblings b/c she doesn't have that, her dad quote: "doesn't care about her" and neither does her half-brothers. Don't think she's told her moms this. They have no idea she's trying to count her blessings to keep it together.

      I seriously think there are probably more stories like that out there but again, do they make the gay community look good? or do they make people reconsider gays forcing motherless and fatherless children in the world through lab surrogacy and sperm donning? (of course, this doesn't direct towards you of course, you adopted, but a lot of your buddies aren't adopting)

      Science is on the break through on making humans with two genetic fathers and two genetic moms through labs, hormones and stem cells, if they can get the general public to feel kids don't need moms and dads, they could [in theory] test these genetically modified; anti-nature tampered with children on the LGTB community.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. PART 2: I've also looked into your videos, Selena made it clear she wants to see and meet her mom, she drew a a picture of her and gloats about someday she's going to meet her. THe whole dad and mom thing is quite silly to me, obviously in surrogacy two gay men are substituting a woman in every way; for eggs, womb, mother figures (their girlfriends), artificial milk (formula), and artificial breasts (bottles which have advanced over the age). Even in sex, the vast majority of gay men don't use their sexual genitals, they surrogate a vaginal hole for their digestive track (the anus), more so than a heterosexual couple where the man is very much more interested in a vagina than sexually fetishing a poop-hole.

      Realistically speaking in a complete natural sense the balance is a man and a woman; (that's why heterosexual and bisexuals make up 90% of the world), and a child does indeed need a mother and a father for different psychology, health, and developmental reasons.

      And since two men cannot make children ('merge')and become one they cannot 'marry' (marriage has been centered around sexual reproduction since it's creation). The idea was that a man and a woman, unlike their same-sex, cats, dogs, children ect. could come together and create life. The Egyptian symbol the Ankh (that means eternal life) symbolizes this: a man and a woman in a sexual union: two opposites poles of a magnet making a 'whole' (the child who is both his parents together; the magnet now becoming one). That has been marriage on a spiritual and political sense for a long time.

      The only society i can think of who didn't think of marriage this way were the greeks, but the greeks were subject to (along with homosexuality) necrophilia, coprophilia, zoophilia and most notable pedophilia. All sexual minorities...

      While i do agree, two consenting adults (whether gay or straight) should be allowed to consent in sex and it is nothing like pedophila, on a political sense they should have the same medical, housing, and taxing abilities as straight couples, there are too many children in foster care to be turned down by gay men and you are doing a wonderful job with your kids, in theory you and your husband cannot 'marry' in a natural sense. There is no balance, no contradicting opposing forces, no 'union'. And UNLIKE an infertile couple who's reproductive functions malfunction, a gay man (as you did) could simply go to a woman and make perfectly healthy normal children.

      I'm sorry i did indeed divert, but i hope this world will start thinking with their heads again and rethink hohosexuality and look at it more closely, instead of falling for a bullying story. Because, where there are gay-kids getting bullied for their sexual orientation they can't help, there are zoophilic-teens and pedophilic-teens who feel they are being suppressed for being sexual minorities too. (In germany, 'zoosexuals' are protesting the right to love their dogs and cats too:

      Funny, why don't we ever see stories like that in america? Is it because we'd start to rethink homosexuality?)

      Consider the needs of these kids a bit more, instead of thinking of everything in a 'black' or 'white' sense. Some kids want dads, some kids want moms, some don't care either way, some kids will just complain regardless. Consider them all, instead of projecting the stories everyone wants to hear, deeming the others selfish. Some kids don't mind having same sex parents others evidently do:

      That's my humble elongated opinion however, good day

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  13. Zoey, the vast majority of people remain silent--happy or unhappy.

    I can see how many children would prefer to grow up in "normal" families, to avoid calling attention to themselves, to avoid giving anyone an excuse to bully them.

    But what about those who are already different?

    The many who need the acceptance of a society open to differences?

    Should we all remain silent, those children would never feel free to be themselves, and those around them wouldn't ever be open to accept people who are different (or out of the "norm") as people just like themselves.

    Finally: equating homosexuality with deviation--which is what you are doing--is utter bullshit.

    Call me a cynic but your claim to be bisexual seems to me a simple declaration to gain standing/credibility to then spew your vile discrimination, bigotry and hatred.

    1. Once again, I said so much about children having different needs/wants/desires, children being considered secondarily important,children being manipulated by science for deafness without their consent,made motherless and fatherless even when it's upsetting them and this is all you have to say? Talking.. again...about... yourself...

      It says a lot doesn't it?

      Apparently you have a reading deficit for i said clearly:

      "...While i do agree, two consenting adults (whether gay or straight) should be allowed to consent in sex and it is nothing like pedophila, on a political sense they should have the same medical, housing, and taxing abilities as straight couples, there are too many children in foster care to be turned down by gay men and you are doing a wonderful job with your kids..."

      My only point made was to stop the pity party and the self-absorption as you demonstrated, diverting about children who quote: "never feel free to be themselves" when it had absolutely nothing to do with the subject at hand. I am saying pedos and zoos are both learning and mimicking the ways of the homosexuals and are indeed 'fighting for rights' as seen in those links I put in my comment. You have to put your kids first and stop pointing the finger to straights to justify *your actions.

      good day

    2. Reply to azteclady

      "Finally: equating homosexuality with deviation--which is what you are doing--is utter bullshit."←And you find to be bullshit in a subjective way. Fact: Homosexuality is a deviation from the norm (nothing wrong with that) if you read the definition of deviation, it reads: "the action of departing from an established course" or "deviation from a norm"

      Maybe you don't know this, but the normal is heterosexual relationships, so, anything that is not heterosexual, is a deviation of the norm (again, I repeat, there is nothing wrong with something deviating from the norm, is not a crime to be weird or abnormal or original or what ever you want to call it)

  14. wow. . . .
    zoey touches on something that i think bryan and jay are absolutely not. parents in it for what they get out of it. she also touches on the the fact that straight couples do bad families too..i agree its no good either way, kids dont solve relationship problems- responsible committed adults do for themselves and for their kids.

    not to say that kids cant be heroes to their parents, how many times has any parent been upset over some 'adult' issue only to have their kids shine some simple obvious sense of perspective that, even if it doesnt make it all better, at least makes it a bit less daunting or somehow do able.

    ultimately, no family is perfect and everyone has to find a way to live with the histories that they are given. peace must be found with ones past so that one can build a future worth living for. as much as some try to share their hurt it is theirs to deal with, all the rest of us can do is find the love we can and allow that love to grow and be shared as well.

    sadly i have deaths that need to be addressed, here i come vegas- i just wish it were for the frivolity. and soon after my uncle as well..i refuse to miss more of life for all consuming work.

    1. Ah thanks! an open minded individual at last at last. *smile*

      This rant about selfish gay parenting was aimed at anonymous sperm donned inviduals, not adoption, adoption is always a giving and a very wonderful thing. If you don't have an inkling of how serious the situation is here is your clue:

      Then there's the movie "eggsploitation" and "Anonymous Father's Day", and unfortunately these fertility industries and funded more by the LGTB community than straights, and they (instead of making a donor known or making him/her a coparent) go ahead with it with no consideration for the kids, but COMPLETELY for the parents needs. I think if there are kids out there who's parents did not consider them their possible wants with a relationship with their bio dad/mom, or their dad/mom, or being able to fit into the 'natural balance' (experience a mother and a father) then perhaps that is why they are so silent, not all of them have awesome stories...

      Hope that sparked some thought.

  15. Jay, you're not the only one who has never seen anything like this.

    I've never read (or tried to) more confused, badly written nonsense in my life. My hat is off to anyone who could make sense of his/her rambling. Just to light on a few points:

    The Greeks practiced necrophila? In whose universe?

    Selena was "complaining" about being adopted by simply being curious about her mother? You've never wondered 'what if?' without really wanting anything to change?

    The LGTB community, a very small number of people compared to heterosexuals, keeps sperm donors in business? So what? What does that have to do with Bryan and Jay? And why, if that entire diatribe was aimed at anonymous sperm donors, would you post it here?

    After all that, to say that adoption is a loving and wonderful thing, presumably approving of the family Bryan and Jay have made, totally confounds me.

    I may have misunderstood you, ZB. Believe me, it's not easy to avoid wondering what your point was. Try short declarative sentences and backing up at least a few of your more absurd claims.

    1. Badly written? Funny I had a blogger reply and actually agree and understood exactly what I was trying to say. Perhaps your reading comprehension is low, that's all.

      My point?


      • not all kids like having gay parents (explaining the lack of children standing up for their parents)

      •why gay marriage on a physical/spiritual sense doesn't work
      (My opinion on marriage equality)

      •how pitying doesn't work and how zoophiles and pedophiles are catching up with that (if you are aware of the pet issue in Germany)

      •how in an natural sense, children need mothers

      •how gays are being inconsiderate with their parenting

      Reread my posts, maybe you'll be
      enlightened to a better understanding, or you'll take a defensive attitude, who knows?

  16. @Zoey personally I find your arguments to be a little offensive in that they single out gay people as doing something that Straight people arent doing everyday. And your arguments that gay people substitute a "poop hole" for a vagina is kind of middle school nonsense. I think it's hilarious that people feel free to look down on anal sex because of feces...but have no issues with the fact that urine, blood, and a host of other substances can come out of a vagina. So if undesirable substances is standard....your not exactly winning that argument.
    The fact is many, many straight single women use sperm donation and surrogacy. I have also had to priviledge to know many who have adopted singly.....and without these women, many kids would not know a home at all. But not to put too fine a point on it....straight couples and single women do ALL of the things you are upset that they gay community are doing.

    I'm sorry that it offends you so much....but laying it all down at the feet of loving LGBT parents is neither fair, remotely accurate, nor appropriate.

    1. PART 2)

      ..."The fact is many, many straight single women use sperm donation and surrogacy"..

      ...... "But not to put too fine a point on it....straight couples and single women do ALL of the things you are upset that they gay community are doing."

      Lesbian women contribute to sperm donation more so than their heterosexual counterparts, for they lack a male in their coupling and are reproductively handicapped:

      "Another hurdle, according to Alana - a women’s studies major who says she was inappropriately ridiculed as a Christian extremist because of her advocacy - is the gay and lesbian community, who see sperm donation as “the cleanest method for them to have children.”"


      A lesbian couple even took baby-buying to an extreme:

      My ORIGINAL point: if parents (despite their orientation) are being inconsiderate to their children's needs, then the kids aren't going to speak up. I gave you plenty of examples and personal experiences, even showed you a "Wiki How" article that was coaxing kids/teens from LBTB families to basically: fit into their parents' world, be grateful and shut up.

      Here it is again,

      I'm sorry if this truth offends you, but that is your problem not mine.

  17. Zoey,
    "GAY FAMILY VALUES" That is what Jay and Bryan video and blog about. They make an enormous effort to put a model of love and possibility--- their loving family--- in the public eye. Of course for every righteous cause someone can cite horrific examples of the bad, the sad and the scary. No noble effort is safe and secure. Zoey, what really was the point you wanted to make? I assume it was the silence of the lambs. Perhaps you should be thanked for your contribution to Bryan's post but it won't be by me. The press is full of the news and editorials you highlight for us and it is honestly a lot easier to access those than the feel good, show good and promote good example set by Gay Family Values. I'm sorry for your pain. Glib glad-handing of the foster-adoptive model set by Jay and Bryan while clearly promoting the antithesis of their forum is a lost cause here. None of us are blind to the horrors that abound. Do your bit to showcase the good and don't give airtime to the ugly. That isn't a coverup, it is an intentional focus.