Saturday, January 30, 2010

Near Death Experiences of Gays and Lesbians

This is the message many of us take away from from our churches...and sometimes our families. "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL." ....Being raised in a "Traditional Christian home" and being gay can cause sever emotional conflict that sends many of us on a personal journey away from religion to resolve our sexuality and our religion of birth. For many of us in the gay community...the condemnation can cease to be external and become an ever present voice in your mind. That same stance of condemnation causes a great many gay people to walk away from religion and spirituality entirely. That's not a just is...and that was me for a time.

The voices I had heard all my life that said that being gay was an automatic ticket to hell had ceased to be the voice of sunday morning televangelists and had become my own. The emotional weight of which, would keep me up at night. I could not close my eyes to it...mostly becuase I knew that no matter how far away I pushed it from my mind, I would have to deal with it someday....especially that someday that all of us face...the end of our I was coming out, I also began dealing with the question "am I going to hell?" I began reaching out to other spiritual traditions and went in search of an answer that would put that question to rest, once and for all.

Thats when I discovered near death experiences. I had heard of near death accounts but had never previously given them much attention. Finally, the light clicked on..."well, most spiritual traditions are either written thousands of years ago and have been passed down such that their veracity can be compromised in the constant retelling, and many new age philosophies seem out to sell you something....what do the people that have been through death and seen it first hand have to say?"

Federal Prop 8 Trial Reenactment..Day 1 Chapter 1

Well here it is...much later than I expected, but better late than never. I will post more as they become available.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Homosexuality..As Seen Through The Looking Glass

For many people who think of themselves as "gay"...coming to that place of acceptance is a long and difficult process of soul searching and struggle. Our society has been such, that there is little room for middle ground. Even those who label themselves as bisexual can face resistance from both the gay and straight community, who have little tollerance for ambiguity. Also, those who refuse to label themselves at all still face all the same discrimination from a society that makes no distinction between self-identy and same-sex actions. Most of the time, we expect our world to fit neatly into the boxes that help us understand it ...and.... it may have taken us a lifetime to accept the boxes themselves. If something comes along that invalidates the way we categorize life, it can be a very threatening experience.

Case in point comes via a Queerty Write up on a Fox news article That I will now also discuss just to make sure there isn't a human being on the planet who hasn't seen it. The article discusses a recently unclassified Pentagon study of the sexuality of Pashtun men in Afghanistan. The study itself was a part of a military effort to "get to know the local population". What they found perplexes them...and if I being honest It messes with my perception a bit too...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Courage...Your Doin It Right..

When we first started making videos of our family on Youtube, it was meant as a means to reach out to heterosexual society. We wanted to reach the people who voted for propositions like prop 8 and hopefully show them that we were what they were voting on, not an abstract concept. We were hoping that showing our lives, in intimate detail, would put the lie to what organizations like NOM put forward in their campaigns. We also had hoped that the other gay families, that we know are out there, would be encouraged to make a similar statement. That was our goal and intent.....well....something else happened too...

We started getting letters and emails from gay people saying, "Thank you for showing us what a gay family looks like....I didn't think it was possible". Sometimes people email us simply because they have no other gay people in their lives to look to or no one that they can admit their feelings to, which is a very subtle type of hell...coming from someone who knows. But why bring all this up now?...because this just came to us this morning:

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Fallen Heroes

Every once In a while we get a link or an email about a story that strikes really close to home. From  an article in The Vital Voice... The story of Patrolman Dennis Englehard is just such a story. Patrolman Englehard was struck will assisting at an accident site on Christmas day.

I don't know if any one remembers our Christmas morning video. Jay was behind the camera while I handed out the presents under the tree and the kids got to make out like bandits. That moment could not have been made if instead we had recieved a phone call saying that Jay had been killed in the line of duty.

Dennis Englehard's partner and son lived that experience.

Perry vs. Governator day 12...The Reckoning!

Well Almost....While this is the last day of testimony, it is not, technically, the last day of the trial. After court lets out today there will well be a recess until March...thats right...March. As if waiting for the California State Supreme Court decision wasn't bad enough, now we have to wait again for closing arguments and Judge Walker's decision.

We at Gay Family Values would like to take the time to thank the people who Livebloged and tweeted their fingers off to bring us this information. Without you we would all be in the dark and I look forward to the day when full transcripts of the trial are released. We would also like to thank the legal team of Olsen and Boies for putting together such a solid case and for putting the spot light on a subject that is long overdue to be faced. We would like to thank all the Plaintiff's witnesses who were so unflappable on the stand. Finally...last but not least we would like to thank two very special witnesses, who we think made the case for  the discrimination that gays and lesbians go through better, than if the entire Gay Mens Chorus sang it in Union Square...

Thanks alot everyone...we couln't have done it without you!

Dr. William Tam!

Dr. Tam tried his best to get out of being associated with Prop 8. and attempted to have himself removed as an intervenor on the basis that he would undergo harrasment because of his stance on Prop 8. Judge Walker denied his request...much to the chagrin of Prop. 8 defense attorneys who knew they now had to own him. While taking the stand Dr. Tam had to take responsibility for Prop. 8 documents in which he claimed that, after legalizing marriage, gays and lesbians will attempt to legalize having sex with children and prostitution....among a whole host of other batshittery.

Thank you Dr. Tam for demonstrating that the majority of arguments that are used against same-sex marriage are based in tragically destructive stereotypes...kinda like people used to believe about asians....and religious bias.

David Blankenhorn!

Founder and president of the Institute for American Values. Blankenhorn, who was brought in as a marriage expert....actually has no background in same-sex marriages at all. His degrees aren't even related to psychology or sociology and his only qualifications was having read a couple of studies by other doctors. His arguments were soley based on his own opinions and biases with absolutely zero facts to back them up.

Under David Boies examination all of Blankenhorns arguments blew away like dust in the wind and at several points he even irritated the judge by his resistance to answering the questions. Blankenhorn eventually ended up admitting that we would be "more American" if we allowed same-sex marriage. The end result being that a combative witness for the defense, under examination, ended up making the case for us that marriage equality is a GOOD thing....thanks David!

The Usual Suspects:

Good As You Twitter Feed

Pam's House Blend Twitter Feed

The Advocates Twitter Feed

Courage Campaigns Liveblog ( The Trial Tracker )

Firedog Lake's Liveblog

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Gay Family Values Song Contest!

O.k...editing of "Right To Love: An American Family" has begun and we are super excited. At this time we and Jayebird productions are putting on a song contest! Now...I realize that you guys come here to read and not write music but we are asking ...if our super awsome readers would share this with all the talented people that they know. We are asking if you would share this on your facebook pages or favorite blogs and help us put together an awsome soundtrack.

And please remember..this is not just our is your story too and it chronicles the life of our family on Youtube and we would not be doing this without help us get the word out there!

Perry Vs. Governator....The Neverending Testimony

Yesterday saw some pretty damning evidence against Prop 8 that compared same-sex marriage to the tragedy of  9/11 and "slippery slope" qoutes that claim polygamists will be next along with men marrying animals. Afterword, Prop 8 called Kenneth Miller to the stand. Miller, an "expert" on the initiative process in California was roasted alive by David Boies. So what do we get to see today? More of the same....

The Usual Suspects:

Good As You Twitter Feed

Pam's House Blend Twitter Feed

The Advocate's Twitter Feed

Courage Campaign Liveblog (The Trial Tracker)

Firedog Lake's Liveblog

Monday, January 25, 2010

Slippery slopes

This is a term that those who oppose gay marriage attempt to use when they want to portray themselves as having a "rational basis" for their resistance to allowing marriage equality. The line of argument goes that if we allow gays and lesbians to marry, then that paves the way for polygamy, incest, and bestiality. Does this sound absurd to you? is a quote taken from Proposition 8 documents as they are being entered into evidence, as reported by the Courage Campaign Liveblog:

Lion of Judah Church of Boston, says, “Polygamists are waiting in the wings! If we have same sex marriage, we’ll have polygamy next.”
 Yes..they are just lining up and waiting for their turn to have their lives and loves subjected to a federal trial eh?.....somehow, I don't think so...

So lets take this one apart Shall we?

Perry vs. Governator...Attack of the Cloned Campaigns

Today Prop 8 gets to call the tune and the witnesses but since we haven't heard what their game plan is we will just have to tune in and see. I for one will be donning my tinfoil hat for this event as I'm sure theit attempt to twist logic into their favor has a good chance of ripping a hole in space and time. Good luck to us all...

The usual suspects:

Good As You Twitter Feed

Pam's House Blend Twitter Feed

The Advocates Twitter Feed

Courage Campaign Liveblog (The Trial Tracker)

Firedog Lake's Liveblog

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Celebration!...Lucky 100th Subscriber!

Gay Family Values has reached 100 subscribers! Wow...I can't believe it. And who got to be luck 100?


Thank you Wendy and all my regular readers for subcribing to this blog. I hope you find it as fun and informative as I do when making it. I have a great time talking with everyone in the comments and learn as much as from you guys. Thank you for making this so much fun.


Saturday, January 23, 2010

Outrage...A "Must See" Movie

Brace yourself...this ones going to be a long one...but I do not want to sacrifice the message of this post for the sake of brevity. My apologies in advance and please pull up a chair....

this post could alternately be called, "Why are we our own worst enemy?"

In a recent Towleroad article, GLAAD anounced why it chose to ignore Kirby Dick's documentary "Outrage" at the GLAAD Media Awards. The movie centers on outing closeted politicians that, while having sex with men secretely, also pretend to be Family values and work to  block pro-gay legislationand persecute the gay community. GLAAD's response to why they  did not include it in their film festival was this comment:

Friday, January 22, 2010

Perry vs. Governator Day 9......Plaintiffs Wrap Up

Day nine of thr trial and it has been raining great buckets here for almost as many days. While yesterday saw Tam's testimony in spite of heavy resistance by defendants. Today will see the last of the Plaintiffs witnesses take the stand. Up today is Gregory M. Herek Ph.D. A professor of Psychology at the University of California Davis. His testimony will cover the nature of sexuality and the effects of stereotypes and stigmas against gays and lesbians....should be good...if not too surprising stuff.

The Usual Suspects:

Good As You Twitter Feed

Pam's House Blend Twitter Feed

The Advocates Twitter Feed

Courage Campaign Liveblog (The Trial Tracker)

Firedog Lake Liveblog

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Calling Prejudice To the Stand

Yesterdays testimonies in the Perry vs. Schwarzenegger were absolutely explosive! So much so, that I felt they were worthy of their own post rather than tacking them onto one of my Trial Link posts. The quality of witnesses that Olsen and Boies have called have been stellar. We even picked up some awsome testimony from witnesses originally signed to the Defendants (support 8's) side. It was a day of emotional revelations and bombshells...check it out with me...

Perry vs. Governator Day 8...The Wrath of Teh Gays! 8....where does the time go. Yesterdays testimony was action packed, what with Ryan Kendalls testimony about his family and experiences being forced to attend reparative therapy. This was followed up by some pretty damning evidence about the LDS church...but all that will be in my following regular post for the day. For now...enjoy the preview for the Trial reenactiment I have been promising and keep a close watch on this trial...

The Usual suspects:

Good As You Twitter Feed

Pam's House Blend Twitter Feed

The Advocates Twitter Feed

Courage Campaign Liveblog (The Trial Tracker)

Firedog Lakes Liveblog

This is only the teaser trailer...more to come as they are posted:

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Acceptance...Never Easy, Always A Choice

We've been talking alot about the faulty belief that being gay is a choice, that it can be caught by association with gay people, and that you can be "convinced" to be gay. All of these faulty assumptions completely negate the soul searching, denial, and overall struggle the average gay/trans person goes through to come to a place of acceptance just for themselves. To find the ability to say "I am gay"...nevermind considerations of acceptance by others.

Self acceptance is not a static event but more a process that happens to us as our lives progress. I can remember back into my grade school years how unhappy I was then. I was skinny and on the outside of the social pack, looking in. Everday I would look in the mirror and wish that my eyes were blue and my hair blond like the cool kid in my class that everyone fawned over. Of course, none of those things ever happened and things continued on this way for years. I hated who I was. Being gay added a whole new dynamic to this. What was once a shame, turned out to be the key to finding some measure of self worth.

perry vs. Governator day 7...First Blood!

Well...more like 7th blood really...but I'm running out of credible sequal names....who knew so many just had numbers? Sorry for the late start but while court begins does parenting....

Todays line up looks thus:

•Ryan Kendall, a gay man who will testify about the “conversation therapy” he underwent in his youth and how he has been affected by discrimination

•Gary M. Segura, Ph.D,Professor of American Politics in the Department of Political Science at Stanford University. He will testify about the relative political power of gays and lesbians as a class of citizens, and their level of political vulnerability.
Still on the lookout for that week one reenactment...I will post it when I see it.
The Usuall suspects:
Good As You Twitter Feed
Pam's House Blend Twitter Feed
The Advocates Twitter Feed
Courage Campaign Liveblog (The Trial Tracker)
Firedog Lake's Liveblog

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Who Do You Look Up To?

Remember Gareth Thomas? The rugby player who recently came out of his own volition and at the top of his career? Well Gareth has popped up again, This time on the cover of Attitude.

This article, along with yesterdays conversation about how some people are bothered when gay men refer to themselves as "straight acting", has spawned a thought process in me about how we select our role models, and more role models. I wonder how they would recieve the news that Gareth Thomas wants to be a role model to young gay people and other gay men in the sports world? Do they also consider him offensive because he backs up the stereotype of the traditional Jock? Not pointing fingers...just wondering..

Perry vs. The Governator...Part six! Enough With The Sequals Already!

Here we are in a new week and four more days of testimony in for the Federal Prop 8 trial. As of 8:49 PST proceedings have not yet begun but that give me plenty of time to get todays links up. By the way...they have a great thread on the Courage Campaigns liveblog asking everyone to introduce themselves...drop in and say hi!

Whats in the line up for today?:

Jerry Sanders, the current Republican Mayor and former Police Chief of the City of San Diego who is the father of a lesbian daughter. He will testify about his decision, as Mayor, to support the City of San Diego's participation in an amicus brief advocating against the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage and why he concluded supporting marriage equality was and is in the best interest of the local government and community. City Attorney Dennis Herrera will conduct the direct examination of Mayor Sanders.

M.V. Lee Badgett, Ph.D., a professor of economics at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, who will testify about the private harms caused by Prop. 8 and the impact of same-sex marriage on the marriages of different-sex couples

 Ryan Kendall, a gay man who will testify about the "conversation therapy" he underwent in his youth and how he has been affected by discrimination
The usual suspects:

Good as You Twitter Feed
 Pam's House Blend Twitter Feed

The Advocates Twitter feed

Courage Campaign Liveblog (The Trial Tracker)

Firedog Lake's Liveblog

P.S.....We are supposed to see a reenactment of Last weeks trial events posted to youtube today. I will post it here if/when that happens.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Labels...Who Decides Whats Not O.K.?

How important are the words we use to describe ourselves?

Recently, Erik... a wonderfull young Youtuber who goes by the name "straightactinggayguy" was feartured on Queerty in a video discussing how difficult it is to find a date when you live in the midwest...your fresh out of the closet...and you don't have contact with other gay people. Sounds innocent enough right?...I thought so at least. What actually happened incited a comment flamefest because of what Erik's screenname implies. The interesting thing that came from all this was how important the labels we apply to ourselves, and others, can be.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Protect the Children!

Hello everyone...My last article of the week is addressing Prop 8's third point that it was enacted to "protect children". So get out your tinfoil hats to protect you from homosexual brainwaves and lets recite Prop. 8's mantra again shall we?.... "Its all about the children!"...."Its all about the children!"

This is arguably the oldest argument used against gay and lesbian people. Its purpose is to link homosexuality to pedophilia and to cast gays as villians out to destroy innocence and the fabric of American life. It is also the flimsiest of all arguments that the Prop. 8 legal defense has made thus far, in their effort to defend the ban on allowing same-sex marriage. In reality, all that Prop. 8's defense has done so far is reiterate the same thinly vieled homophobic statements that were used during the election to scare the average citizen into voting their way. Their still using the same playbook. However, their argument only has the capacity to move the average person into believing that, somehow kids are in danger, if you first hold a certain set of assumptions. Such as...

Friday, January 15, 2010

Perry Vs. Governator part 5: The Reckoning!

Hello Trial junkies! Finally the court is reopened to the public after a closed session this morning for council to view some of the sealed documents that Prop 8 clearly does not want the public to see...but we are up and running again. Today is day five of the. potentially three week, emotional rollercoaster that is the federal prop 8 trial.  Via Firedog Lake Today will see testimony from:

* Michael Lamb, Ph.D, a Professor and Head of the Department of Social and Developmental Psychology at Cambridge University, who will testify about gay and lesbian parenting and its impact on the adjustment of children and adolescents, and the benefits to children and adolescents if their same-sex parents were allowed to marry.

* Helen Zia, a lesbian author who will testify about her sexual orientation, her experiences with discrimination, and the effects of being denied the right to marry her longtime partner.

* M.V. Lee Badgett, Ph.D., a professor of economics at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, to testify about the private harms caused by Prop. 8 and the impact of same-sex marriage on the marriages of different-sex couples.

The usuall suspects:

Good As You Twitter feed

Pam's house Blend Twitter feed

The Advocates Twitter feed

Courage Campaign Liveblog "The Trial Tracker"

Firedog Lake's Liveblog

Updates will be posted as they become available

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Two Rights don't make a Wrong

Today is day two of my series refuting the points  Prop 8's legal defense needs to make, to show that there is reasonable cause to uphold the ban on allowing gays to marry and to show that those poionts are themeselves, irrational. Point one was covered yesterday, that allowing gay's to marry would denigrate the hallowed "institution" of marriage. Todays I will take on their second assertion that, overturning Prop 8 would violate the right of the people to express their political will through a vote.

Perry vs. The Governator Part 4: Out For Justice!

After yesterdays disturbing cross-examinations I hope today offers yet more revalations about the "animus" that motivates the proponents of Prop if the lawyers line of questioning wan't enough to prove that....heh.
Heres todays liveblogg/twitter link round up:

Good As You

Pam's House Blend

The Advocate

Courage Campaign Liveblog

Firedog Lake Liveblog

More updates will be added as they come in...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Breaking news!

Just posted on the courage capaigns Liveblog, the U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 vote, has continued the stay on videotaping the proceedings indeffinitly. So Bloggers...that means its up to us to get the news out there.


One of the arguments used by Prop 8 legal defense is that allowing gays to marry will somehow degrade the "institution" of marriage. One has to wonder how anyone can come to this conclusion but through severly twisting logic and completely ignoring history.

In our modern view of marriage, I don't think anyone wants to look at marriage as an "institution". That word conotates Baby poo green hospital walls, white coated orderlies, and lobotomies. Most people look at marriage as a powerfull emotional bond, rarely do we look beneath the surface of marriage. To do so would tarnish it some way...take away its magic. The only time we ever really examine marriage in a clinical sense is when we need to dissolve one and figure out who gets the kids and who gets the furniture.

So, who really is responsible for denigrating marriage if we have to look at it through two lenses...the legal, and the emotional? Presuming that both of them are as bound together as the two people who vow "till death do us part"... the answer is not what you may expect.

Perry vs. The Governator.....Part three: With a vengeance!

Vengeance for an awfull and discriminatoy law that hopefully will go the way of the dodo. Hopefully this will be the last day of the Supreme Court injunction against filming the trial. But if and until then.....Heres todays day three twitter link reposts. I will add updates as I learn of them....

Good As You

Pams House Blend

The advocate

Courage Campaign Liveblog

And keep your thoughts a prayers out there for Haiti today everyone. I havent seen damage like this since the Sumatran Tsunami.

*update* newly found video from last nights Rachel Maddow:

*update* I recently heard that today the prop 8 defense tried to argue that gays have gotten "too politically porwerfull" in the state of California and were therefore, not subject to discrimination.

Are they serious?!....

that little nugget goes along with the one where they said Californians "have been extraordinarily generous" with us gays. I take that to be in reference to out domestic partnership laws. Pardon me but...doesn't this smack of "let them eat cake"?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Just a Phase...My Firsts

How many times have we heard that phrase coming out? ..."its just a phase"...The implications being, that you decided be be gay on a whim. Like dying your hair bright pink and developing a taste for 70's punk. This off handed comment, often made by parents struggling to deal with there child coming out to them, completely ignores the soul searching and inner turmoil that we have to go through to accept ourselves let alone find the courage to tell those closest to us. It also ignores the fact that being gay is as much a part of us as the color of our eyes or the frustrating fact that I will never be any taller than 5'9". It hard for those around us to accept that we really thought about this....tortured ourselves over it...and that its the naked, unalterable truth. Its so mush easier to dismiss it as a changeable facet of our personality, like deciding to dye your hair.

Gays v. Governator part Deiux....Twitter Strikes Back!

Day Two and still no Youtube video of the trial so we are resigned to following this by Twitter until something changes. and...eventually I will have to get back to my regular blogging and stop obsessivly updating twitter pages. Yesterday Sean Chapin of Youtube was present outside the courthouse and posted his perspective on the morning rally:

To follow current happenings check out this link to Courage Campaigns Liveblog originally linked by K!r!lleXXI ....thanks Lexxi.

Good As You , Pam's House Blend , and The Advocate also have great twitter feeds to keep us all in the know.

A veritable smorgasborg of information...feel free to add if you know of a better source as I will be in total obsessional mode all day. ;)

More to come as I hear it....same bat time...same bat channel.

*update* yes only one today..the only wrap up I have found  SO FAR, is this one from Pam's House Blend. still keeping an eye out from more....till tommorow compadres...

Monday, January 11, 2010

Perry vs. The Governator.....Part One: The Youtube Banning!

Alright The Big trial begins today and since Govenor Schwarzeneggers name is attached, I cant help but cast it as a cheesy action action flick. Though there will be no care chases, explosions, or snappy catch phrases it nonetheless will have us on our seats awaiting the outcome. And who said law was dry?

Todays episode of the Governator saga is brought to us via New York Times. The Supreme Court has blocked Video coverage of the Prop. 8 trial until they can consider the judge Walker's decision to broadcast the trial via YouTube. Thats right.....THE Supreme Court, as in that U.S. one. The very same one that has been studiously avoiding anything gay marriage has moved with a vengenance to block the broadcast of the trial. The ban order will be in place until Wednesday. At least we know they are paying attention. I'm not sure if thats good or bad.

I will update this thread as I find out more. But I need your help! Please comment below with your suggestion for cheesy sequal names for future posts

*update* While Video and YouTube upload may be blocked, they haven't stopped anyone from twittering the trial....check out this feed from The Advocate

P.S. per Sean Chapins on the street perspective there is a HUGE crowd in front of the courthouse and a large media presense....including FOX news interestingly enough....stay tuned...


an additional twitter feed on Good As You ...And pictures from outside the courthouse this morning via

*Update3* o.k...just got home from rounding up the kids from school, going to the dentist, and a million other parental obligations...I feel totally out of touch with whats going on with this trial that will decide the fate of my family ....but hey...we can now read the detwitterized version of Ted Olson's opening argument via The American Foundation for Equal Rights. I don't think I could think of a single point he missed though some could have been emphasised a bit more. I'm all on pins and needles still...

Saturday, January 9, 2010


With the Perry vs. Schwarzenegger trial looming a little more than a day away I have Prop. 8 on my mind. Specifically, The recent news of efforts of Prop 8 defenders to have the broadcast of the trial delayed. Presumedly so that they can hop in the Jokermobile with the other supervillians and make a hasty getaway. In addition, comes this mornings story that on of the defendants wants out of the trial, citing that he has been personally harrased for supporting Prop. 8.....Pardon me while I get out the worlds smallest violin...

Musing about Prop 8, and the elections of Maine, New York, and New Jersey has left me with a big question.....Why? Why do they care so much? Why when we get some small victory in gay rights is it worth such effort to mount public referendums and repeals? It takes a great amount of money, time, and organization to mount a national movement of any kind. Why are we so reprehensible that we merit this level of resistance? I understand my own activism for marriage equality because it has a concrete and measurable impact on my life and on the lives of many like me....but so many that resist gay marriage would not be touched by it in any way, so whats the deal? These are my thoughts and opinions on the issue, please feel free to offer your own as this puzzle is far from complete.

Friday, January 8, 2010


Sean Chapin of Youtube brings us his take on Riccochet! by Shiny Toy Guns and the subject of todays post.

Welcome to the echo chamber.....A place where truth makes no difference, only how much emotion you can stir in  those you want to influence. Lies and misinformation are accorded the same respect as  great philosophy and ancient scripture. Slogans become battlecries, putting reason to the sword. Intollerance becomes victory and true freedom a "slippery slope". This is what allows others to cheer as freedom is trampled along with our hopes and dreams.

Being a blogger, and an amature one at best, I know I swim in a world of opinion. Facts and reasoned perspective are harder to find in this environment than manifesto's and lines in the sand. This constant barrage of thought and opinion is what informs most people about current world events.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Update on New Jerseys gay marriage vote. The bill has been struck down by a vote of 20-14. After the vote was read the audience cheered. I kid you went down just like this:

I am so mad....

New Jersey votes Live and Courts Come Out of The Closet.

Coming out of the closet for most of us means letting go of hiding our real selves, moving from a life of deception, to a life lived openly and honestly. This is not usually a thought that I would associate with the legislative or judicial process, but thats precisely the case this year in California and, most in New Jersey.

New Jersey's vote on Marriage Equality occurs TODAY!  The vote will be broadcast live Via their state website.(find it here). Though the prognosis has not been good  for New Jersey's vote, they have New York to serve as an example of what NOT to do. It will be interesting to see how New Jersey's democrats vote given the  reaction to their neighboring states decision and the actions of their democrats.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Wheel of The World Returns to Prop 8

Its hard to believe that its been more than a year since the final court decision was handed down on Proposition 8...and here we are facing it again. Not the long awaited revote(fate uncertain) but another court challenge to the original legislation.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Wash, Rinse, Repeat

This is the playbook for NOM and those who would march beside them lockstep.

How to brainwash in six easy steps:

Step 1: Craft misleading petition campaigns that put the civil rights of gays and lesbians up to a popular vote.
Step 2: Tell lies about how kids in school will be taught gay marriage
Step 3: Tell lies about how religious freedoms will be repealed if marriage equality is allowed.
Step 4: Take massive amounts of money from religious institutions to finance your campaign built on lies and then lie again claiming you got it from "concerned citizens".
Step 5: tell more lies about how all gays and lesbians who want to marry are actually "radical homosexual activists" who want nothing more than to destroy marriage.
Step 6: Rinse and repeat as neccesary

Guess where we will see this played out again?.......New Hampshire!

Monday, January 4, 2010

NOM...Rhode Island, and Grief

Gay, lesbian, matter what label you claim, the one you will not be allowed loved one. The right to marry seems lightyears away when the ones we love die. All we would want in such a moment is the right to honor our spouses and partners, to grieve, and to heal. but there are those out there that are too frightened to even allow that.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Long Road Home

Hello everyone,

Way back when Jay and I did our first video for National Adoption Day I asked for anyone who had an adoption story they would like to share to please send it to us. the response was not exactly overwhelming. it seems that most people are reluctant to share their personal lives on the internet...hmmm...go figure.

But what we DID get was enough to blow me away. Here...reprinted with the permission of the the story of James and Chip and how they adopted their son, a little boy who has seen entirely too much hardship and sadness for his years. Its hard to believe that anything so horrible could happen to one so young...but it does...everyday. Also this families story underscores something I found to be true from my own experience, that their is a strong element of fate/divine guidance in the process of building a family. Somehow, the right kids find the right parents through some very uncertain paths......but please stick through to the end because it does have a happy ending...

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Years Eye Candy

Well its a new year and fortunately, no news is good news. Plus I'm so worn out from the holidays...I need a day off. So I'd like to take this opportunity to do something light and  share a couple videos that we found on a really awsome site called Way Out West TV. This site is a clearinghouse for gay oriented music videos, television clips, and short films. Its chock full of lots of gay goodies. These are just a few that we would like to share with you:

First lets go for a walk with Reead in "Baby"

Wow...I think I would have followed them all the way down the street peeking out from street corners and from behind mail

Next up is Street Hero with "Brooklyn boys"....another good droolfest video.

"Brooklyn Boys" by Street Hero, dir by Leo Herrera from Leo Herrera on Vimeo.

And last up is The Joans with "Mad At The Dirt". The Joans and their brand of Joan Crawford humor is about as campy as it gets. Watching it brought back flashbacks of the B52's...and thats a compliment as I still love them.

So rest up from your wild and reckless New Years partying and lets start this new year off right by making good on all those goals we set for the new year. ;)