NOM, The AFA, and Anti-Gay Orgs...Do We Still Care?

This post is to settle somewhat of an argument between my husband and I who have a difference of opinion on whether or not it does any good to write about the doings of antigay groups like The National Organization for Marriage or characters like Tony Perkins and The American Family Association.....correction, what he actually said was that no one cares enough about them to read what they are up to.

Every day that goes by see's these groups, and the individuals that speak for them, slide into increasing disfavor. With DADT repealed, the potential likelihood of the return of marriage equality to California via the courts, and polls that are NOT in their favor, antigay groups are having to take a different stance in the public eye...the one of the victim. If they can't win the game of spinning public opinion into fearing that gays will destroy the nation by wanting to be a part of its institurions than they will fall back on creating the fear that gays want to attack and harm them and anyone who believes similarly.

An example of this fallback strategy is NOM's creation of a subgroup who's task it is to advocate for anyone who feels they have been targeted for violence or harrasement due to their belief that marriage is just for straight people and not for gays.  NOM's newly created Marriage Anti-Defamation Alliance( not to be confused the the rebel alliance)  was so laughable...and it's charter do beyond the pale that I felt practically compelled to take it apart piece by piece. But...I was discouraged to do so on the basis that no one gives a rats behind about them. Which makes me ask the question...Is it true? Have they slid so far as to have faded into irrelevancy?....because personally, I think that's a mistake.

Where Do We Stand?....Tragedy and Triumph

Yesterday saw the end of "Don't Ask Don't Tell" and one more victory was won in the long march towards equality. Celebrations are being held all over the nation and in the news. Everyone is overjoyed to see this bit of institutionalized hatred bit the dust. I know it meant a great deal to my husband, who served a tour of duty under DADT during the original "Desert Storm" operation in Iraq. Jay came to accept himself as a gay man during his time in the Army and it has always been his regret that he served in the closet and ultimately left the Army because he knew their would be no place for him in it as an openly gay man. He was particularly jazzed then to be able to make his own celebration video marking the end of DADT.

And then reality punched us in the face again....another teen had killed himself due to bullying...

"Gay Panic" In The Larry King Trial...and The Value of A Life.

Dear readers...I am at a loss.


Perhaps a few of you may have read about the recent announcement that the trial for the murder of middle schooler Larry King by fellow middle schooler Brandon McInerney has ended in a mistrial and a hung jury. Go to any gay blog covering the story and you will read many rage-filled responses. Some including a call to violent protest. Given the fact that Brandon McInerney told a fellow student he was going to murder Larry King the day before he brought the gun to school and actually committed the crime...because the murder was witnessed by an entire classroom full of students...AND...because McInerney's motive for shooting King was due to Kings sexuality and his reported "advances" on McInerney...there really should have been little doubt that this case was motivated by hate. Yet that seemed to be a hard fact for the jury to accept....so they didn't.

No one doubted that McInerney did it, they only questioned why. McInerney's defense did their level best to paint a picture of Larry King and a gender confused young man with no sense of reasonable boundaries and Brandon McInerney as a victim of an abusive upbringing. The character assassination  committed against Larry King was rather extreme and anyone watching it couldn't help but get the picture that they were trying to show that somehow, King deserved what happened to him because he was just too gay and that his actions toward Brandon McInerney incited his classmate to murder. The unspoken statement here being that this was somehow an understandable, if extreme, response on McInerney's part. This reasoning seemed to find traction in the jury who unanimously voted to strike down the hate crimes charge. To the other charges of murder and manslaughter...5 jurors advocated for a straight up murder charge and 7 argued for first degree murder but they could not come to an agreement on whether or not the murder was an action committed in the heat of passion......really?....One result of the declaration of mistrial is that McInerney may be able to plea deal for a lesser sentence..or the less likely option of being retried as an adult.

The response to the announcement of the mistrial has been one of deep rage and can be summed up as, "Why is the life of a gay person worth less than that of his killer?" The extension of that question being, "Is this how much MY life is worth to a jury of my peers?"...and it is to that question that I would like to speak....

National Day Of Silence...2011

One Culture War...Two Warriors

Of all the actual wrongs in the world, why are we singled out as the single worst? There is murder, natural disasters, horrible diseases, poverty and greed...so many things to fight and yet stopping homosexuals is at the top of every bodies short list of the ills of society to eradicate first. Hell...If I had a dime for every time I've heard someone equate homosexuality to murder, I could pay off the national debt and buy everyone coffee afterwards. The groups that spend enormous amounts of time and money fighting equality are many, and the individuals that they attract come for their own Personal reasons. Some are true believers who are truly frightened that the acceptance of homosexuality signals the breakdown of the world they grew up in. Others use the issue to create fear in the public and raise copious amounts of money for themselves and the organisations that sign their paychecks. But whatever may bring an individual to see their fellows as the ultimate evil, the fact remains that they are still just human beings...the same as those they fight against. Being human means they can make mistakes, change their minds and grow, or take the crazytrain all the way down into madness. Two stories have surfaced this week that highlight that this struggle isn't one fought on the basis of abstract issues or morality...but a battle fought to recognize the basic humanity and rights of LGB..& T people.

For your consideration I present the stories of Ryan Sorba of CPAC who believes that Conservatives should not use the word "gay" anymore...at all....and Louis Marinelli, a former member of the National organisation for Marriage who has given up his work for NOM and endorsed marriage equality after actually getting out in the world and meeting some gay people....go figure.

Safety

Most gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people learn from a very early age that the world is not necessarily a safe place for them. Maybe it's a comment made by your parent's that teaches you...or the first time some guy at school calls you a faggot and makes your life a living hell...but you learn early and often in ways that you will never be able to forget. No matter where you are...being out of the closet carries with it a certain amount of risk and you weigh that risk against the gains of living an honest life. Through all the advances we make as a community, and all the hard won strides we make in gay rights...sometimes we are still reminded of the nature of the world we live in.

Clayton, North Carolina gives us one such reminder. Recently the home of a gay couple there was burned down in what is being ruled as arson...and wonder of wonders...a hate crime. Fortunately for the couple, who's names have been kept anonymous, they were out of town at the time the fire was set. A Neighbor who also chose to remain anonymous for fear of her own safety claims that the couple had also experienced harassing notes dropped in their mailbox...had their home defaced with anti-gay slurs...and tires slashed on a vehicle in their garage. According to an Towleroad update, police are looking for a White Chevy S-10 pickup pulling a trailer containing ride on lawn mowers stolen from the home. The couple is being put up in a hotel by the Red Cross who is also helping out with food, clothes and insurance contacts.

This whole event just angers me. Who should have to live their lives in fear that something like this will happen? And what if this couple had been home asleep? The consequences of events like these are not merely the burning of a home...or the loss of possessions...It's the damage done to the soul that can take so much longer to repair.

Revolutions...Backlash...and Prop 8

Hello everyone...before we get started, I have just one thing to get off my chest. Judge Vuaghn Walker lifted the stay on his prop 8 decision effective on the 18th of this month....so, from a couple who made it in on the last window of opportunity...

CONGRATULATIONS TO CALIFORNIA SAME-SEX COUPLES!!..SAME-SEX MARRIAGES CAN RESUME!!

Get in there and make it happen people. We never know when that door is gonna slam shut again.

But this little nugget of joy actually brings us to the subject of todays post....revolution. Its a word that gets thrown around alot these days and usually means that something is not going the way the user hopes. Judge Walkers ruling has stirred alot of pots....anger and not-so veiled threats of violence are becoming increasingly commonplace sentiments expressed by those who appose gay marriage. And of course, those feelings are whipped into a frenzy by irresponsible pundits seeing a chance to gather the dissaffected to themselves.

Originally, I wanted to write this post in the week following Judge Walkers ruling...but...because I wanted to focus on the positive aspects of the rulling, and because I don't think its good to give too much weight to the crazy extremist end of the spectrum, I let it go. After all, the things I was seeing in the news were just isolated incidents...or so I thought. Then, Maggie Gallagher, her anti-gay matrimonial majesty, came along with her own call to revolution that has reinvigorated the idea that such extreme thoughts are the only way to preserve their vision of society. But first...the background...

Fundamentalists and the Human Disconnect

There is a certain segment of the "pro-family" fundamentalist camp that you simply ignore because its rantings are so extreme they simply marginalize themselves. Even groups like NOM go far out of their way to publicly distance themselves from these people....even though they secretly agree with one another. Bryan Fischer of the America Family Association is one such individual and his messages are usually over the top. His last forey into the news cycle was to claim that homosexuality was akin to heroin abuse and should be treated as such...yes that meant illegality and some kind of treatment program for being gay. This time around...via Good As you...Mr. Fischer wants all Fundamentalist families to start having children so they can outbreed the gays/liberals....wow...just wow....thats one extra crispy bucket o' crazy.

Last time around I ignored Mr. Fischer largely because it was universaly acknowleged that he was uber-rightwing fringe and giving him any attention at all was giving his perspective more weight than it deserved. So why give him blog space now? Well as I read his words...as crazy as they are...they betray a viewpoint held by a  large swath of Americans...specifically the disconnection of gays and lesbians from their basic humanity.

Day Againsts Homophobia...Defending The Indefensible

Today, May 17th is marked as the "Day Against Homophobia". (learn more)Its labeled as a day to reach out to others and raise awareness of the effects of homophobia and transphobia. Celebrated in 50 countries, it is also a day in which events are held aimed at reducing the fear, lack of information, and deliberate misinformation that creates homophobia ane the awfull actions it leaves in its wake. While a worthy undertaking, its not exactly a day in which you run out an buy all your loved ones cards or gifts....though I suppose it could be celebrated over a few margaritas.

In considering the scope of this task, it feels like moving a mountain one spoonfull at a time. This is my spoonfull. Read on: