Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Please Don't Revoke My Gay Card

All gays have a great sense of style right?..wrong! Shame on you. That's what you get for stereotyping. Now, we may have received a little of the decorating gene...but I tell you, when it comes to dressing ourselves...we're screwed...

You've heard alot from us about the upcoming Family Equality Council event...probably too much. But what you haven't heard is just how nervous we are about this event. It really is an "A-gay" event and we are sooooo not "A-gay". Normally, I hate terms like these because they pigeon hole us into descriptions that do not acknowledge who we are as human beings. In this case, it just serves as an indicator of how nervous we are at having to stand in front of a crowd of rather well-heeled gays and supporters. But, In the final analysis, I'm sure they put on their Emporio Armani distressed blue jeans on one leg at a time too.

*ahem* Back to my point...Jay and I have been all over the universe to find an outfit to wear to this thing and we have not had not much luck. Neither Jay or I are clothes horses. For us, shopping for clothes usually becomes something more of an airing of our insecurities than a bonding moment. Also, We don't have any big, expensive designer stores here in our town and even if we did, I have no intention of paying their prices when preschool dues are coming up.

Our style revolves around Tshirts and jeans. Sport coats and/or suits are outside our sphere of expertise. Every sport coat jay tried, he hated. When Jay hates what he's wearing he looks like an undercover detective trying to look nonchalant, all stony faced. Good job there Mcgruff...

I felt like a teenager in his fathers suit and if its not black...I don't wear it. You hear that gap/Macy's/(insert store name here)?! Stop making so many pink/bright orange clothes for men! Its like the inside of a fruit loop box in here! Ugh! Off to our fifth store! Will the torture never end?!

But we're gay right? Aren't we supposed to take our kids... get mud masks, pedicures, and gossip about other peoples lives? All the while sipping our free non-alcoholic cocktails and breathing in the latest in aromatherapy concoctions? That sounds dreamy compared to the experience we were having. Somehow, I pictured us emerging from this experience as a well turned out, fashion forward gay family...hah...yeah,anyway...

Picking Selenas Dress was just as fraught with danger. This time of year there are no little girls dresses anywhere...believe me we checked. If we wanted to pick over last years leftover Christmas dresses...then we would be all set. But this is Selena we are talking about and she know the difference between good outfits and fashion disaster...too bad I don't. One day she may be designing fashion for the world while running here free clinic for wayward animals and planning her next space mission, so her dress had to be perfect. Online we went. Several pages of foofy birthday cake looking confections later we found a few that worked. Now to get it shipped sometime before Christmas 2020....sheesh.

I couldn't get the image off the site for the dress we chose but the link is here for those interested:


Daniel, Daniel, Daniel...What to do about a problem named Daniel. He has bit of a waistline which makes buying pants for him a nightmare. We still haven't figured out what hes going to wear...

Maybe we are looking at this all wrong...maybe we should go with my gut and dress up as characters from Star Wars. Selena could be Princess Leia, Daniel could be Chewbacca, and Jay and me could be Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. That would make this sooooo much easier....I wish.

The Family Equality Council called this morning to let us know that a stylist has donated their services to cut and style our hair. YES!!! That was incredibly generous. One more detail bites the dust. So we go to check out their site......


Crap... Its a very upscale salon off Melrose Place with another salon in Beverly Hills. Now, I'm a little closer to Beverly Hillbilly than Beverly Hills. Great...now I need an outfit just to go to the salon so they don't make me use the back door...

So we are bad, bad gays. If theres a "queer eye for the queer guy" program out there someone turn us on to it please....We're begging you...And in the mean time please don't revoke our gay cards!...


  1. I´m so with you. I always say in your videos that I LOVE your t shirts. I´m not huge on fashin either, But i do have my moments.

    But guess what I don´t really care what the others say, every day I get out with my Superboy t shirt. thundercats hat. and yeah I get looks, and i just ignore them.

    But I really want to do this. Find a clasic blach suit, and accesorice. With what? My graduation? I usea 6 pins, all comics, my frinds rolled their eyes, but those 6 little things made me confortable. Because they were me. So do that find something you kinda like, and make it your own. put a Star wars coufling ( or whatever is called.. those things that go in your sleeves) put yourself a Star wars tie, or simply put one of those shirts underneath the suit. Buy a cheap Black shirt and stap it with a alliance simbol or whatever.

    that´s just me.

  2. As someone who's wardrobe consists of newer Old Navy clothing and older Old Navy clothing, I hear you.

    But that said, I do have one good suit for those occasions when a suit is necessary (weddings, funerals, job interviews). I say put out the money for you and Jay to get one good suit that you'll have for years. I think that's the equivalent to a woman's little back dress.

    As to the Beverly Hills salon, etc. Accept the gifts with gratitude, be appreciative of the people who service you and don't worry about anything more than doing those two things. Don't think you don't belong, just think, "wow, what a new experience."

    Most of all, have fun, you've earned it, by being the family you are.

  3. When I lost my job in February I was several hundred over the limit for JSA (British unemployment benefits) which would have meant having part of my benefits docked. So I decided to spend the money on things that would help me get a new job - like a suit. I hadn't bought a suit in over a decade.

    My idea of Hell involves devils in pin-striped suits. I absolutely do NOT do pin-stripes. Ever. Under any circumstances. Not unless I'm being paid at least £10 million.

    So I bought a pin-striped suit.

    It cost about £250 ($400) for a blazer, two sets of trousers, five good-quality shirts, a silk tie and cufflinks; I'm guessing you'll only want one shirt and no cufflinks, which would cut off about £50/$80. It also looks damned hot on, and is almost unbelievably comfortable to wear. So when you go out again look for Jasper Conran, the gay British designer. If he can create a pin-stripe suit so good even I'll wear it, he's sure to have something for you two.

    Yes, even Jay.

    Oh, and Daniel would make a fantastic Yoda.

  4. You guys are so handsome, Beautiful on the inside as well... I doubt it matters much what you wear

  5. Wouldn't mind seeing you all in your SW getups but I don't think that's the family values the FEC wants to promote.

    Have you tried the Men's Warehouse yet? Many guys in my office have bought their suits there -nice selection and salespeople.

  6. I´m sorry But I´ll pay AND die for a Han / Luke kiss

  7. my gay card was revoked years ago. i wear levis and those plain mossimo brand t-shirts at target (they fit really well), and a pair of boots. that's it. everyday. maybe the occasional political shirt or music artist shirt once or twice a month. here's my advice: get the good quality basics that you're never gonna have to buy again - navy wool blazer, white dress shirts, cotton khaki and grey wool pants, etc. the classic stuff. i'm sure the salesguy at nordstrom would be happy to help a couple of handsome dudes like you.

  8. I'm with PlainGayBlogging: Being there is what matters most.

    Congratulations! I'm glad that your family's advocacy is being celebrated. Thanks for being out!

  9. I am so glad I am not the only gay man that is not into fashion. I think God got something wrong with me. I am much happier in flannel shirts and jeans and a ball cap. I think I should have been a lesbian!!! (Please -no offense to anyone) The only time I dare put on a suit and tie (yuk!) is when someone dies or gets married!
    I feel your pain!

  10. It seems to be that generall consensus that we need a suit that one suit to be married or burried in. Since I am already married, I guess I'm ultimatly picking out my funeral attire?

  11. Bryan, I sincerely hope neither suit will last long enough to be used for that purpose.

  12. Hahahaha...I hope not either!

  13. I did not get the fashion gene. I see clothes as purely functional. Keyron gets so exasperated with me over that.

    It's my engineering mindset.

  14. You are a fantastic writer! I loved reading this and was very impressed. Outstanding job!


  15. Actually there was one episode called "Queer Eye for the Gay Guy" ;] you can even watch it on YouTube so there's still hope for you guys:) You should call and ask could you be in one of the episodes - and because your such an unusual family they'd have you on the show FOR SURE! I'm not joking here Brian! Talk it over with Jay - they could even come on the day of the upcoming Event and make you look (well...) fabulose ;] It would be a great way to get Logo's and the Nation's interest in your YT Channel as well.:) Think about it:)

  16. What a CUTE dress that you guys picked out of Selena. She is going to look beautiful. For you guys, something that looks and feels comfortable. The last thing you want to do is not be feel comfortable when standing with your family and accepting your award. Anything you choose will probably be the right thing to wear. Way to go Leffew family! You guys earned it. With much love and good luck!!!!

  17. Thank you everyone for the great comments. The outfits are starting to come together...

  18. Just as long as you guys don't whitewash who you are and your expression of your sexuality, I'm cool with this. Just don't become "the gay that straights can tolerate" just to prove a point. Thanks. :]

  19. how cute!