Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dancing To Their Tune

Lately we have been getting a lot of negative feedback from those within the gay community for our stance on gay marriage. Most recently because of this video:

Some of our viewers have expressed indignation at the comparisons drawn between the huge loss of life on September 11th and the denial of civil rights enacted by the states of California and Maine. So let me be clear why Sean Chapin made this video and why we support it. First, it was never meant to say that these events are the same. What happened on September 11th was horrific beyond my ability to describe. I bawling my eyes out while watching human beings jump to their deaths rather than die within a burning building and hearing the final goodbyes delivered by cellphone messages to families who would never see their loved ones again. Nothing can approach that day, In my mind.

What this video is pointing out is that the nation sat up and took notice. They did not just move on with life as normal because something was clearly wrong. But yet today, no one seems to have that sense of urgency when a whole class of people have their rights stripped from them. Believe me...we have gotten a mountain of emails from gay people attempting to shame US becuase marriage is "not a priority" for them. We have also been accused a kind of selfishness for asking the community to stand up and support each other. We have been called "privleged white gays" and "mainstreamers". We get comments from gays that are just as vitriolic as anything a conservative could think up. It has been shocking just how much division there is within a community that NEEDS to stand together just to survive...

So this video makes the assertion that the second time is scarier because it points to a trend. To prove the point this video makes, are a spate of articles outlining the outlook, agenda, and current moves of the opposition to gay rights. I say "rights" here because marriage is a subset of that larger movements and we are being attacked not just about marriage but because of all that we are. This is why the whole community should sit up and take notice. Because this isn't just about marriage, its about equal treatment as gay people at the least...the right to even BE gay at the worst. As this recent quote from Mike Heath of the Christian Civic League of Maine points out:

In the interest of protecting and affirming all of Maine's people, especially our children and grandchildren, we must repeal domestic partnership laws that provide benefits on the basis of homosexuality, we must defund the so-called "civil rights teams" and remove "sexual orientation and gender identity" from the Maine Human Rights Act and the Maine Civil Rights Act. IT WOULD ALSO BE PRUDENT TO REINSTATE MAINE'S ANTI-SODOMY LAW that was quietly removed from our criminal code in the late 1970s.

This from a member of the "live and let live" state. These words may well be the sentiment of a single individual but don't bet on it. In my opinion this is the end game goal of NOM and their ilk. NO MORE GAY SEX=NO MORE GAYS. at least thats the rational. We all know where that ends up.

So Whats the National Organization For Marriages Next moves? Well, they have alot on their plate. First, according to an article posted on Queerty NOM and Focus On The Family are headed to New Jersey.

With same-sex marriage suddenly a top priority in Jersey — with supporter Gov. Jon Corzine, seen here signing the civil unions law in 2006, leaving office in January to make room for bigot Chris Christie — NOM indicates it's going to put the state next on its hit list.

NOM president Maggie Gallagher, most recently seen sympathizing with Maine's gays, says: "New Jersey is at the very top of our list, and it's going to happen in the next few weeks if it happens at all. They're doing it in a lame duck, because it's as far away from an election as possible."

NOM is also hard at work in New York doing everything they can to threaten and strongarm New Yorks Legislators by amassing a fund to personally work against anyone who votes for New Yorks gay rights bill. Also posted on Queerty this morning, is NOMs statement of intent:

It just announced it's building a half million dollar "war chest" to mount a primary challenge for any GOP senator who votes for gay marriage, whether or not the vote wins or loses this week. That means, as Thomas Duane & Co. rally to lock in as many of the 32 Democratic votes as they can, the fight to secure Republican votes is that much harder.

All of these activities are taking place not more than a week after murdering of rights for the GLBTQ community in Maine. Really, the bodies not even cold yet.

So they move...we counter move...NOM seems to be quite adept at getting the gay community to dance to its tune. There must be a better way to address this fight then letting them have their way by fighting on their terms. They want to keep us caught up in ballot initiatives, thats their strength. Submitting this to a vote is wrong and unconstitutional...why is this not addressed?

So this is my case for why we as a gay community should care whats going on. Soon, it wont just be "over there", it will be knocking at your door and asking for YOUR rights. Not just your ability to marry or not marry, but also your ability to be fundamentally gay, however you live.

To our readers in other countries...by now you know that I write from an American political perspective. Thats my myopic view. However, I believe that the struggle is a human one...not just an American one. I am somewhat biased by the news I recieve. If anyone out there has a story about gay rights they thinks requires attention, let me know and I will research it.

And to everyone out there who said "shame on you depfox" for calling out YouTubers for not using their voices and those who attempted to shame us by calling us "mainstreaming republo-christian tools" and "diaper sniffers", we have done our best to point out what the real "coming storm" is. As we are fighting for the right to marry, so are we fighting for your right NOT to.


  1. I think some of the comments to you guys have been disgusting. Diagree, yes, but there's no need to be rude.

    I think you're right to link same-sex marriage to a wider battle for equality. All the evidence from when the right-wingers let their party line slip is that they see preventing marriage equality as just the first step. Then it'll be bye-bye civil unions. Then all anti-discrimination legislation goes out the window. And at the end of the line are the kind of laws still seen in the developing world. I'm not saying most of that is actually going to happen, just that it is what's on the mind of most of the people actually doing the leg-work against gay marriage. And to me, that makes it relevant, no matter what you think about marriage or even long-term relationships.

  2. I think one problem is that some people are so emotionally attached (by fear, anger, disgust; all the appropriate feelings) to the images of national/worldwide disasters and injustices like 9-11, that they can't see the real point of this video. They see a connection being made, and it stirs up all those old feelings and gets them angry and defensive.

    The truly sad part is that they don't have such an emotional connection to the issue at hand, affecting our community today. I live in Washington State, so I am privileged enough to have come out on top in last week's election. But I still get worked up when I read or watch videos about what happened in Maine, and in California a year ago, or when Maggie Gallagher rears her head, no matter who she's attacking this week. Its the division you mentioned within the LGBTQ community that keeps us from feeling the same sense of indignation about Question 1 and Prop 8, that we felt about 9/11, and it's this same division that gives NOM, AFTAH, and all the other bigots out there a foothold in their fight to deny us our rights not just to marriage, but to love, live, and even be who we are.

    We need to stand united as a community if we're to have any hope of coming through this, and you guys and Sean Chapin have made that point very clear. I thank you for all that you do for all of us.

  3. I love that someone called you a diaper sniffer. Is that an insult now? I thought it was a unfortunate consequence of most peoples normal lives at some point or another. Maybe they are saying you should make a video about how to stop baby poop from smelling.

    I have encountered gay people before who suggest that living monogamously is foolish and is simply aping heterosexual marriage.

    I feel sorry for these people, they must feel so rejected by society that they in turn want to reject everything they can, the good and the bad.

    They seem no more willing to accept that different people want different lifestyles than the fundamentalists.

  4. trust me...there is no human method I know of to keep baby poop from being the most knoxious substance known to mankind. I would have tried it if there was. I was sooo happy when I got to get rid of the diaper pale.

  5. Q: Why do you, gays, want so much to get married? Be thankful that you can't, because this way you don't have to.
    A: Actually, some of us (maybe even most of us) want to commit to one person and have a family, sometimes with kids.

    Q: Why do you need a marriage? You fight for civil rights, so why don't you get your domestic partnerships with all these rights and be happy with that?
    A: This is not just a matter of semantics. It's a matter of equality: if people are told they can't be married, they are being treated as the second-class citizens. If there is something that you want to have and you have absolutely all rights to have that, but you are told you cannot — you're being discriminated. We don't want to be discriminated, we don't want other people to tell us what we can't have.

    It's all made up by me, but that's what I always answer to people on this matter.

  6. I can honestly tell you I understand how frustrated you feel when others in the gay community say they don't care about marriage why should they bother to fight for it. As some one who is only 22 I find is very frustrating to have people my age come along with that very attitude. It frustrates me because I do want to be married and raise a family some day, I want full equality, I fight for issues that don't effect me, so why can't others do the same? I also see in the anti gay marriage/anti gay rights movement the underlying intention of striping all rights away, they may say they are fine with the rights with out the name but the reality of the matter is they don't want us to have the rights ether, and if we as a community don't stand united against them we will continue to suffer setbacks, on day it the right to get married then who know what right they will try to take away next.

  7. I don't know where else to put this so I will put it here. Just logged on to see if there was a new article yet and my virus checked detected a trojan on one of the items that loads on your page.

    From the address it looks like an ad from Zedo.com


  8. not sure where anything from Zedo is. unless they advertise on one of the services we use.

  9. Brilliantly said. It's about HAVING the option to get married. Those that don't want to (like the pseudo-radical poseur who called you a diaper sniffer) - would have the right to reject marriage. And I don't get the term "diaper sniffer." What does that even mean?

  10. I HAVE in fact sniffed many a daiper...an experience I don't feel the need to repeat. That doesnt mean that its an insult that particularly bothers me though.